Top 130 Quotes & Sayings by Ray Romano - Page 2

I think that as actors age, the work becomes more organic to them.

Doris Roberts had an energy and a spirit that amazed me. She never stopped. Whether working professionally or with her many charities or just nurturing and mentoring a green young comic trying to make it as an actor, she did everything with such a grand love for life and people, and I will miss her dearly.

As successful as it may appear I am, I don't really feel that. It's like, you know you've achieved some level of success, and you know what you've done, and yet you still feel you have more to do and more to prove.

I like a good cry - it's cathartic; it's a release. But I've never been able to be so free to do that on camera the way some actors can.

My joke used to be about my father and Peter Boyle: that anything you see Peter Boyle do on TV, my father has done in real life without pants on.

When you're in the living room every week for nine years as one character, it's hard for some people to see you as someone else.

You're only as good as your last joke, your last show, your last whatever. The confidence is there, but underneath, there is always insecurity.

When I started out, Jay Leno used to say you're not as good as you think you can be until at least your sixth year. I was like, what the hell is he talking about? 'Cause I was in my third year, and I thought, 'I got this.' I kept videos of myself performing, and in my fifth year I watched my third year and realized he couldn't have been more right.

I just go to work, come home. And my wife lets me throw my clothes on the floor, and she doesn't say anything, so I must be making some money.

Every backstory involves my father. I remember hearing Gary Oldman talking about backstories and saying, 'I got to stop using my father...' And I feel the same way. I don't know. What I come up with always involves some element of this son trying to prove himself to his father.

My hair was long - in my high school year book, I looked like an ugly David Cassidy.

My favorite band - and Bobby Cannavale and Terry Winter have already made fun of me for this - is Chicago.

If I had never gotten famous or rich, I think I'd be equally neurotic.

I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means. I shoot 90 to a hundred or, once in a while, 85.

I see the bad in everything I do.

In stand-up, there's that idea that comedy comes from a dark place, but it's not a rule.

Anna would be just as happy with me if I were a plumber. As a matter of fact, when she married me, I was working at a bank and living at home. I didn't move out until I was 29!

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

If you are someone, you know, with fame, whatever amount, it's good to be married to someone who's not impressed with that at all.

Why can't I love him (a 2 yr old nephew) from afar? That's how I want to love him - through pictures and folklore.

That's the one thing I have over any twenty-one-year-old: a proud history of accumulated neuroses. That's the game in which I'm da man.

My daughter's tricycle said "Some Assembly Required." It came in a jar.

Whenever I get down about life going by too quickly, what helps me is a little mantra that I repeat to myself: at least I'm not a fruit fly.

People think living in your parents' basement until you're twenty-nine is lame. But what they don't realize is that while you're there, you save money on rent, food, and dates.

Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.

The fact that they let me in a movie with Gene Hackman has left me with no faith in show buisness.

It's starting to feel good, although I don't like feeling too good - that's not where my comedy comes from.

I had a very Italian house - the "plastic furniture you couldn't sit on" house. Did anybody have the museum house? For a kid it's traumatic. Towels you can never touch. China no one's ever gonna use. Everything is for a special occasion that never happens. My mother was waiting for the Pope to show up for dinner. Or Sinatra. Or Chachi.

I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.

Identical twins. I'm glad they're identical 'cause you save money on photographs. That's what I like. Yeah. Here's my little boy. I got another one just like it.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

My wife gets so jealous. She came home from work and was mad at me because there was a pretty girl on the bus she thought I would have liked.

Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.

Failure-it centers me. Too much success has me thinking, All right, what's goin' on?

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.

For a sitcom sex scene, you get in bed and that's the end of the scene. It quick and it was fast, but it was foreign territory for me. Not for Bobby. Bobby Cannavale has been down that road before. With my character, I think it will be a one-and-out. I don't think you'll see my character [in Vinyl] naked again, so relax everybody.

In a way, comedy is like sex. The more noise you hear, the better you think you're doing.

I put myself on tape and the cool thing was that Martin Scorsese had never heard of me. He had never seen [Everybody Loves Raymond]. I was just an unknown actor to him. I don't want to sound conceited, like he has to know who I am, but that seemed a little odd. He's a film genius. He doesn't watch sitcoms.

My theory has always been that everyone in show business is there because they were deprived of some attention as a child.

That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.

I did 15 shows a week when I lived in New York. I did five shows on a Friday and seven shows on a Saturday. It was everything I did and it was my sole source of income.

My wife said to me 'I hope you win... but if you do and you go up and say you love me, don't think it makes up for never saying it when we're alone.

You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.

I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with you. Every three months. We don't plan it that way. That's just how it works out. It's the weirdest thing. You know what I do? Every time I have sex, the next day I pay my estimated tax. My quarterlies are due. If it's oral sex, I renew my driver's license.

For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

I'll be spending the holidays with my family. Nothing special, just some light bickering and biting sarcasm.

I have this mistress: show business. I get a lot of love and adulation from outside, and [my wife] lets me have that, while she does all the real-life stuff that counts ? making sure the kids are going to school and all that. I married a saint ? well, a saint who curses.

You might think that's an exaggeration but believe me, if you leave twin two-year-olds alone in your living room, at some point a cow will be airborne.

Right after 'Raymond' I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don't like oysters. I had this existential emptiness.'What is my purpose? Who am I?' I had a big identity crisis.

The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good, the bad, and the tiny.

When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again." Congratulations, you're ready (to have children).

I came from an Italian house. The refrigerator was always full. I never knew you had to buy food. I thought there were food fairies that came at night.

I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.

Without identical twins, you'll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.

If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time to renew my driver's license.

I don't know if you want to see the Everybody Loves Raymond guy in a nude scene.

I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.

I had to be naked [in Vinyl], but I was almost more nervous about having to be drunk. The director wasn't going to yell, "Too big!," during the nude scene. For the drunk scene, you can be bad drunk or good drunk. We'll see. My wife was not happy, hearing about it.

I'm now unemployed. It's a weird feeling with no work, but at least there's still golf. Standup comedy is like my core, it's what I do. But I want to be a pro golfer. It's a love/hate relationship with golf. I can come away feeling so serene, and yet, it's the thing that I can let get to me to throw a club and say curses that don't even exist. I'm obsessed with something that won't let me master it. I don't know. I need therapy.