Top 100 Quotes & Sayings by Richard Herring

There is a rhythm to a good joke, a certain pacing.

I am nearly 5ft 7in, which is short for a guy. I have the upper body of a taller man, but my legs are only 28.5in.

My parents felt old-fashioned, growing up - they were quite disciplinarian. We went to church and had to learn music, but in hindsight it was a good thing.

I was just obsessed with Rik Mayall and I copied being him at school for years.

I am reasonably nice-looking and have quite an expressive face, which is good for comedy.

I like any European city where you can sit outside, have a beer and watch the world go by.

Writing is one per cent inspiration and 99 per cent prevarication.

My dad is a retired headmaster and my mum is an ex-teacher. I was taught by both of them.

I've said on one of my shows that I'd like to marry the character Amy Pond, not the actress who plays her.

I was surprised that 'The Peter Serafinowicz Show' didn't get a second series. There are things like that that get stifled at birth and you wonder why they didn't happen.

It is rare for a joke to emerge fully formed and it is worth grafting away until it is absolutely right. Though perversely too much work, too much thought, can destroy a gag completely.

I was in awe of my older brother, but he was also quite a threatening figure - he used to beat me up.

Personally I find that deadlines are the best inspiration.

I'm not interested in telling people what to think. I'm interested in making people think.

I've got the whole of 'Seinfeld' on DVD and I keep on watching the first four series and then stopping.

Rick And Morty' is the most consistently brilliant, densely plotted and enjoyable television show I have ever seen. It's childish, yet super-clever, without ever being clever-clever.

Most jokes are based on surprise. They take advantage of a confusion of language, or a twist in logic, or a contradiction of some perceived truth, or sometimes just saying something so shocking and offensive that the audience will gasp and then (hopefully) guffaw.

I really like 'Community.' I like the way they're allowed to have a week when they go crazy and use stop-frame animation or a different pastiche. There's an episode with a fake clip show.

Nobody at school would have expected me to be involved in anything that might have been perceived as cool. I was trying to make people laugh all the time, but my dad was the headmaster and I was quite swotty.

As a comedian you have to remind yourself that it happens; every now and again you can just have a bad gig where things go beyond your control.

The gay community has a strength and identity that has been lost by dispossessed, guilt-ridden, straight men.

Comedians have this happy, charmed life, where they're the centre of their own universe and can do what they want, but when you have kids you get a perspective on how unimportant you are in this world.

The parents in 'You Can Choose Your Friends' were very much Mum and Dad but my brother wasn't like my brother, and he got quite annoyed because he thought I was saying that was what he was like.

For me genius is '1% inspiration and 99% procrastination.'

I would like to be strapped to a giant rocket and fired into the heart of the sun.

Whoever said having children makes a comedian safer and less dark is an idiot. Having a baby has filled my whole life with fear, and totally destroyed all illusion that the world is safe or fair.

The truth is that we are all a bit gay.

My Less Than Secret Life' by Jonathan Ames was a revelation, as shocking as it is funny.

The funniest book I've ever had read to me is 'I, Partridge.' It's a brilliantly written book, but it's the greatest audiobook there has ever been.

Coming from a comprehensive school in Somerset, entertainment didn't seem like something that was open to you.

I often go for ages without getting my hair cut, so every now and then I'll look like a tramp and have to go to a hairdresser.

I had always been troubled by the liberal paradox of wanting everyone to be treated the same, while at the same time respecting their cultural differences.

Some comedians make a marvellous living doing material that is completely predictable, that reminds people of things that they already know or jokes that they are already familiar with.

I watched the whole of 'How I Met Your Mother.' I wanted to see how they could stretch it out for so long and if it was any good, but it just seems like a sitcom from the 90s.

It's easy to pass judgement on someone else's racism, but what about your own?

I was into Simon & Garfunkel before my friends got into punk and laughed at me for liking Paul Simon.

Like many nerdy youngsters I spent much of my childhood listening to Monty Python records, learning them verbatim, fittingly parroting them.

If you are a stand-up you can hone your material over successive performances, based on the audience response. Changing a single word or altering the pace or emphasis can make a previously failed witticism work.

I'd loved 'Monty Python' and 'The Young Ones,' so making something like that for our own generation would have been amazing.

There are comedic rules and formulae and, while these tenets should be respected, especially by a newcomer, perversely you can still succeed by openly contradicting them. Because comedy is about breaking the rules. Even its own rules. Though, as with many disciplines, it is wise to master the basics before you attempt to subvert them.

There aren't many opportunities to be a comedian on TV anymore, it's a lot of panel shows. You don't get much stand-up.

In my 20s and 30s, I vociferously wanted to be single. I rarely got into long-term relationships and enjoyed going out with different people.

When I was a kid I mainly listened to comedy albums.

I like churches and Catholic symbolism, and although the art at the Vatican is overwhelming to see, I appreciated it even as an atheist.

Laughter is this amazing and healing thing.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself - and monsters.

The show that first massively impacted on me was 'Tiswas,' with people like Lenny Henry, Chris Tarrant, John Gorman and the Phantom Flan Flinger. I loved that kind of surrealist, anarchic humour.

I love it when people try to manufacture an injustice out of a position of clear superiority.

All the religions are right when they say that all the other religions are wrong.

Watching Billy Connolly at the Hammersmith Apollo in the late 90s was a masterclass of long-form comedy.

You can joke about anything. It just depends on your angle and the way you go about it.

I like leaving things to the last possible minute, then letting blind panic be my stimulus.

I wonder if Shakespeare ever had to write a play in 10 days while suffering from jet-lag? Probably. It would explain why his comedies are so crap.

You realise that, with 'Rick and Morty,' each episode is so deep and dense it is extraordinary. It slightly annoys me that it's so good; it's almost unbeatable as a TV show.

If something's true you should be able discuss it or ask whether it's true. It helps me as a comedian. But it doesn't necessarily help my personal life.

I sleep pretty well - seven or eight hours a night.

I've long been obsessed with the fantastical and sometimes unbelievable story of the life and death of Rasputin.

People tend to be surprised when they realise I'm only 5ft 6in. Now I tell them on my website. I think you have to point out your own deficiencies if you're emphasising everyone else's for a living.

I love pulling faces at little kids on the London tube to see if I can make them laugh, and I usually do.

As I remember it, we pitched 'Fist of Fun' as a sort of adult version of the kids' show 'Why Don't You?' We wanted to overload it with information, really pile it on.