Top 330 Quotes & Sayings by Ricky Gervais - Page 2

Ego is hilarious - especially the vanity of a comedian. As soon as you see one start worrying about how cool he is or about how many stadiums he can fill, he stops being funny.

It's funny because I was offered film parts the first week after 'The Office' went out. I was sent a script, and I said, 'Who's the lead?' They said, 'We want you to be.' And I said: 'Well, who's going to go and see that? You want John Cusack.'

I stand by 'I'm not going to do 'The Office' again.' That would be weird: all the same people sitting at the same desks at a paper merchant's in Slough.

Stupidity without malice isn't horrible; some people can't help it.

You can be watching the greatest film in the world, and if you hear your neighbor getting into a fight, you're at the window.

I think comedies should be short. I don't want to be self-indulgent; I don't want a two-hour comedy.

I think all art - even one as lowly as making jokes about celebrities - is there to make a connection.

I've been lucky enough to be able to choose exactly where I want to live.

How many times have we seen reality celebrities fall from grace - often through no fault of their own - and then go on a show like 'Celebrity Big Brother' and say, 'I want to show the public a different side of me.' And I'm screaming at the telly going, 'This is not therapy. This is voyeurism!'

What makes 'Derek' a different kind of sitcom - if it is even a sitcom - is its sincerity.

I love 'The Godfather' and 'Casablanca' - great stories, acted well, made well.

I think I'm pretty self-aware.

Your reputation is still the most important thing that you've got.

I'd much rather eat exactly what I want, and then burn it off, than diet.

I'm a fang-toothed, blob-nosed, slouchy slob.

Even I can't talk about myself for an hour.

Let's be honest here: Twitter, for me, is 90 per cent a marketing tool.

If I just cut out the food, I'd have a six-pack. I'd look like Matthew McConaughey.

The only thing that really depresses me is animal cruelty.

To be fair to David Brent, he wants to be famous for doing something, for being a musician, but he's just not good enough.

If I was a research scientist, I'd want people to say, 'You know what, he's a great research scientist, that Ricky Gervais. He's really good, really good.' You know, I'd go to award ceremonies for research scientists and go, 'Yeah, I really worked hard, yeah.' It's brilliant.

I really just want to make Karl Pilkington the new messiah.

That's the buzz for me, the creative process. An idea is never as good as when it's in your head. And then it's just how little you ruin it.

A couple of people I knew went to university apart from me, but all the way through I was the smartest kid in the school. That's luck, but I was proud of it. And I was also proud of doing well without trying. As you get older, and it took me a long time to realise it, that's a disgusting attitude, revolting.

I always do a little bit of improv. I did some of 'The Office,' a tiny bit in 'Extras,' a bit more in 'Derek.'

I could always take a joke. I could always be the butt of the joke. I could always hand it out. That was just who I was.

All of my friends are oddities.

People now live their lives like an open wound to be famous - they do bad things because they're rewarded for it.

The best script in the world doesn't work perfectly when you actually act it out. That's a law. That's a given. So you have to play with everything. And the more fun you have with it, the better the finished product.

When I was growing up, I didn't like cheese. I had to wean myself onto cheese.

I am myself sometimes, and I do state my opinions, but not in a comedy routine and not in my character. There always has to be some sort of layer to it.

I've got re-addicted to normal people, which is the loveliest thing to write about.

Even on the stage, I've played a bit of a persona, and the persona I played was a much brasher, more arrogant, less aware, less educated version of me.

I don't mind what people say about me as long as it's an opinion or the truth. If someone says, 'He's the worst comedian in the world,' that's fine. If someone says, 'His face makes me want to punch the TV,' that's fine. But if they say, 'Oh, and I know for a fact he hunts squirrels,' I go: no, no, no... that's a lie.

Believe it or not, I work out regularly.

I didn't like noisy cinemas when I wasn't famous.

I'm influenced by those '40s, '50s, and '60s films: things like 'The Apartment' - I was a big fan of Billy Wilder.

I don't care whether people say, ''The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny; he never has been. I hate him.' I don't mind that at all. In fact, not only do I expect it, I celebrate it, because I think the haters are really important.

I don't like it when I see a racist comedian go up and say, 'What are we gonna do about all these immigrants?' and they get a round the applause. I think, 'Well that's not a joke. That's just your biased opinion.'

If I've only got a career if I bring David Brent back, you can have it.

As an artist, you want as many people as possible to see your work with no interference. And usually, I've gone onto fringe channels: BBC Two, HBO, Channel 4.

There are no Hollywood stars speaking out for the elderly. They're forgotten, bewildered, and I don't think it's because people are cruel or don't care. It's because you don't want to think about your own mortality. I think people don't talk about it enough.

I think Dustin Hoffman has been in at least three of my favorite movies of all time with things like 'Tootsie,' 'Marathon Man.' Getting a bit more arthouse and darker, 'The Graduate' - incredible, barrier-breaking movie, 'The Graduate.'

I wanted to be clever, but being funny came first. That's how you know someone is clever. They don't come out and tell you pi to 13 places - they tell you a joke.

The second series is always my favourite as a writer/director; you can hit the ground running... so that's fun.

If you spend your days doing what you love, it is impossible to fail. So I go about my days trying to bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. And then everyone gets furious about it. And then I sit back and say, 'I did that!'

Stephen Merchant looks like a Muppet. I mean, he looks like Beaker.

I don't do one-liners, because you don't learn anything about that comedian.

Comedy is easy for me, but with drama, I don't know... it's still the Holy Grail.

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.

It's better to create something that others criticise than to create nothing and criticise others. Go create, have fun!!

We shouldn't even need the word 'atheism'. If people didn't invent ridiculous imaginary gods, rational people wouldn't have to deny them.

Same sex marriage isn't gay privilege, it's equal rights. Privilege would be something like gay people not paying taxes. Like churches don't.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got.

The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

Be happy. It really annoys negative people.

Next time someone tells me they believe in God, I'll say 'Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...' If they say 'Just God. I only believe in the one God,' I'll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don't believe in 2,870 gods, and they don't believe in 2,869.

Your God is the best God. In fact, he's the only God. All other Gods are ridiculous, made up rubbish. Not yours though. Yours is real.

Science seeks the truth. And it does not discriminate. For better or worse it finds things out. Science is humble. It knows what it knows and it knows what it doesn’t know. It bases its conclusions and beliefs on hard evidence -­- evidence that is constantly updated and upgraded. It doesn’t get offended when new facts come along. It embraces the body of knowledge. It doesn’t hold on to medieval practices because they are tradition.

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.