Top 408 Quotes & Sayings by Robin Williams - Page 7

[when asked about what he was most thankful about]: Being alive. After heart surgery, you dig that part. Breath, family and friends are just amazing. Just to have a second shot is pretty great!

Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?

They're talking about partial nuclear disarmament, which is also like talking about partial circumcision - you either go all the way or forget it.

The only weapon we have is comedy.

Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public.

The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.

Golf is one of the few sports where a white man can dress like a black pimp and not look bad.

Ronald Reagan is the world's largest Muppet.

Men may have wars, but women have their period. Men go off and kill each other, but women say nasty things, which is even better.

It never fails - you get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp

If women ran the world there would be no wars. However every 28 days there would be some very intense negotiations.

I always wanted to play a big, black man, but that would cost too much make-up.

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn't have become teachers.

Women are incredibly intuitive. If anybody on the planet is going to evolve to the next level, that telekinetic thing, women will.

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut.

Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!

Cable is not bound because people pay for it. It's literally a choice, that's the operative word. If you don't like the language, if cocksucker offends you, then turn it off.

Comedy pays the bills if I can't find a film.

It's that idea that you can have one drink - and no you can't. Within a week I was drinking heavily. It was so quick that even I was like, 'Wow.'

My comedy is like emotional hang-gliding.

Shakespeare said, "Kill all the lawyers." There were no agents then.

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.

Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it like a man.

With a bike you go from zero to a hundred in terms of mobility.

Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...

When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.

If you're going to do a movie about the Village, it's pretty nice to shoot in the village and not be in Toronto.

That's the formaldehyde. That's why Granny's so well-preserved.

I had one or two steady girlfriends in high school, but then in college, it was three, four... I went crazy. At one point I had three separate girlfriends, running around mad.

I'm history! No, I'm mythology! Nah, I don't care what I am, I'm free!

It is hard to find something where you can go off as much as I do in stand-up, but I think stand-up allows me that freedom where you can really go off and have a good time.

What is this demilitarized zone? Whatever it is, I like it! Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino.

My preference is live performance, because you get the feedback. There's an energy. It's live theater. That's why I think actors like that.

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees?

I'm fascinated by the new iPhone. I bought it and kept trying to use it in France. "Siri, what is a good restaurant?" (In a robotic voice.) "I'm sorry, Robin. I can't give locations in France." "Why, Siri?" "I don't know." It's like she was upset with the French or something. "They seem to have an attitude I can't understand. Should I look for Germans, Robin?"

We're not laughing at you - we're laughing near you

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time.

You'd think all of these "atypical" somethings would add up to a typical something

Women are wonderful. They're amazing creatures. You can never learn enough! They're addicting in the most amazing sense.

When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back

I can be trained, I can actually show you how intelligent I am, I can use a word like delicatessen and know what it means.

I want everyone out there in TV land to touch the TV. Touch the back of the TV and get a shock for Jesus.

You're going to the cemetery with your toothbrush. How Egyptian

Women have so many levels. There's the physical level, which is a lot of fun. There's this emotional level, which is extremely mercurial.

Incoming is not the thing you want to hear at Christmas.

I know size can be daunting but don't be afraid.

Finding a good script is really difficult and the scariest thing of all is when they say about a script that's not right, "we will fix it.." It's like before you get on the Titanic and you see a big hole. In process, it's too late.

I love being backstage, or doing littler things like Blame Canada.