Top 373 Quotes & Sayings by Rodney Dangerfield - Page 7

We lived in a neighborhood that was too rich for us. When I was young, I had to deliver groceries to the homes of the kids I went to school with. I had to go to the back doors to make the deliveries. It was embarrassing. That was one thing out of a hundred.

I don't get no respect

Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.

I asked my wife if she would put out the garbage. she said why should I you never put out for me.

She was so fat that her bikini is made out of two bed sheets (king-size).

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section.

I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.

My wife says 90% of sex occurs between the ears. But I need a girl who can blow more just my mind.

I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide.

Man, who don't like spaghetti?

My childhood was bad. No father. Mother was greedy and brought me up awful - never made me breakfast once. I don't want to get started. One story is worse than another.

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!