Top 118 Quotes & Sayings by Sandra Bernhard

I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.

I've become this sort of icon for the gay community. I don't like the position.

When you're constantly looking for things from other people, you're not looking within yourself.

Anything that has cynicism to it and that's jaded is smutty.

At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore.

I'm studying Kabbalah, which is really the essence of Jewish spirituality.

I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.

That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.

I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved.

I think I've drawn from some of the most feminine women, like Jackie Kennedy. I am totally devastated that she's gone. She had it all.

When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?

I'm sure that Jesus was an incredible person.

Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again.

I'm trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay.

I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

I like the energy of live performance.

There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing.

Gayness is a non-issue.

I really have a problem with any kind of drug, I always have.

Smut, if it's really smut, there's nothing backing it up. It's the easy way out.

When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just buy your records.

The real terrorist threats are George W. Bush and his band of brown-shirted thugs.

I think everybody is covering their [posteriors] with the Enron scandal and it was very convenient that Sept. 11 came along to deflect the fact that they should never have been in the White House in the first place. What happened in the election was completely corrupt.

I tend to go against the grain because when I start to see that everybody's trying to shock, I try not to. I just do stuff that's subtler, more emotional, and I think that shocks people.

Not everybody is cookie-cutter. You just can't be. There are too many variables in life.

People feel like if they don't have a voice or a name or the spotlight, then they're invisible. But if you can't wake up in your world, in your life, with your family and your friends, and enjoy it, then forget it. All bets are off, because that's all anybody is guaranteed.

Once you're heterosexual and comfortable with that, you don't need to take out an announcement every day.

Love is the only shocking act left on the face of the earth.

It's usually a spiritual thing that's preventing somebody from having happiness.

I think there are always different times in your life when you go, "Oh, god. I wish I were traditionally pretty. My life would be so much easier." But then you get through that, and you go, "Well, I'm not."

I think bravery is when you're willing to really put yourself on the line and maybe lose out, financially - and be able to say exactly what motivates you and what inspires you and what you find completely unacceptable in humanity and in culture.

At no time do I come from a cynical point of view. I'm coming from a concerned point of view.

It's nobody's business how you do something.

Kids need to be educated about sex and sexuality and if they're going to have sex, learn how to protect themselves and not get pregnant.

Purim, one of my favorite holidays. It's like the original drag queen's holiday. It's when all the Jewish men go for it and feel no guilt for a change.

Morality is standing by your friends, standing by people when it's not popular. It's sacrificing things on a big international stage, and sometimes it's sacrificing your basic comforts.

I've always been opposed to groups. I can't believe the doctrine of group is going to work for every single person within the group.

You don't need to be famous to live a life as an artist.

New York has always been a sense of eclectic kind of freedom and expression on a lot of different levels.

Random things make me laugh.

Gay pride's beautiful. If somebody needs to be expressing that, then it's a positive thing.

From the time I was a kid, I'd never joined groups. I hated high school groups. I hung out with hippies, musical people. I hung out with whomever I found compelling and interesting and smart. And I continued to do that throughout my life.

Madonnas got one big choice. Take a couple of years off and become a human being.

Of course, everybody's family is dysfunctional - we've accepted that. What are we supposed to do? Hate our parents for the rest of our lives?

I've always loved being at the eye of the storm creatively with people that I find exciting and glamorous. So sometimes I got sidetracked in my career and maybe I would have done more TV or film.

If you come home to a household of chaos and anger and fear, you're not going to feel protected from the world.

My family wasn't the Brady Bunch. They were the Broody Bunch.

Be who you are and I'll be who I am. I refuse to take sides, because everybody has their story.

I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I said, "A comedian." And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.

People want to be famous, they want to be loved, they want to be accepted. They want to push aside their past and the things that have been embarrassing to them.

How far can we go? How much can we absorb and still have some peace of mind?

I don't want someone coming in and passing judgment on my life.

You have to take the basics of feminism and the kind of outline of it and do what you do with it. You have to make things work for your own life.

My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that's how I view the world.

I definitely want to be with somebody who doesn't feel lost or in my shadow.

It's up to couples, to individuals, to have a trust between each other.