Top 294 Quotes & Sayings by Scott Adams
Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American cartoonist Scott Adams.
Last updated on November 21, 2024.
I don't get embarrassed by the same things that other people do. I would say that probably the biggest thing that holds people back is, 'If I do this, I'm going to look like an idiot if it doesn't work out.'
Beware of advice about successful people and their methods. For starters, no two situations are alike. Your dreams of creating a dry-cleaning empire won't be helped by knowing that Thomas Edison liked to take naps.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
Happiness is nothing but good health and freedom, and money is the single best way you can buy your freedom.
I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable.
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
The longer you work here, diverse it gets.
We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
I get mail; therefore I am.
You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
The most important thing when you study hypnosis is that you learn that humans are irrational. Until you understand that, hypnosis is hard to do... For me, it was this great awakening to understand that humans are deeply irrational, and it's probably the greatest influence on me in terms of my writing.
I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems.
Psychology is the only necessary skill for running for president. Trump knows psychology.
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
The best things in life are silly.
There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.
The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it.
Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
Every skill you acquire doubles your odds of success.
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel.
It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently.
Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it.
If your current get-rich project fails, take what you learned and try something else. Keep repeating until something lucky happens. The universe has plenty of luck to go around; you just need to keep your hand raised until it's your turn. It helps to see failure as a road and not a wall.
I'm primarily just an investor.
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
My investments have been hurt.
I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.
I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist, but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life.
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.
Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.
'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
If you see voters as rational, you'll be a terrible politician. People are not wired to be rational. Our brains simply evolved to keep us alive. Brains did not evolve to give us truth. Brains merely give us movies in our minds that keeps us sane and motivated. But none of it is rational or true, except maybe sometimes by coincidence.
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Home is pretty utopian.
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
The world is like a reverse casino. In a casino, if you gamble long enough, you're certainly going to lose. But in the real world, where the only thing you're gambling is, say, your time or your embarrassment, then the more stuff you do, the more you give luck a chance to find you.
I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.
The only risk of failure is promotion.
One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
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