Top 33 Quotes & Sayings by Scott Raab

As a viewer I came of age during a time when cast members were prone to fistfights. So I may be carrying a little of that kind of image in my head.

I was a section commander in the parachute regiment [in the British army].

Somebody'll be me, tomorrow or whenever. I've been doing this awhile. My time's limited. I've been doing this awhile.

In the steel-and-glass society that we live in, the value system would be that the lawyer, with the Mercedes and the fine suit and the Ivy League education, was more valued than the minority without the education. But on the island, the rules are changed. It's the person who can make a fire or who can make friends. A kind human soul is valued.

My mother never criticized any idea I had. She thought anybody could have anything. Even if I was in a poor family that worked at Ford Motor Company and lived in Dagenham. I could have told my mother that I wanted to work in pantomime. And she'd have said, "Great. I can help you."

I did a thing called 24 Hour Plays, a thing they do every year on Broadway. A bunch of playwrights and actors get together, you write a play and you act it out in 24 hours, literally. People pay and the money goes to charity. So I did one - I was horrible. I was bad. I was terrified. And I was like, "Oh, I gotta do this again." Because I know I can do it.

Actors are the neediest people you're ever going to meet. And their relationship to real life, tenuous though it is because of all the wranglers, the money, everyone throwing everything at them every day of their lives -I think they're pretty much who they were before.

For each show, we do maybe 15 versions before it goes on air. So I know every show microscopically.

I said [to my mom], "I want to go to the parachute regiment." She said, "Whew, that's tough. But okay, I understand."

I remember when I had my show [The Chris Rock Show on HBO], I used to run my show. It was so hard to get people to bring sketches to me. No one had ever worked for a black person before. Even the black people hadn't worked for a black person. It literally took a month or two for everybody to know: I'm really running the show.

The first time I learned I could sell myself was when I convinced a wealthy American family to give me a job as a nanny. Childcare. Totally unqualified. But I learned to be ready for anything. And that I can adapt. That I can become the best diaper changer.

In the British military system, there is a very strict chain of command. Americans just want to win, and the correct strategy may be to speak directly to the men.

If you are the leader, you don't have the right to say things like "Ugh, didn't eat this week I was so busy." "Haven't slept." I look sideways at those signs of bravado, which are intended to make one feel that the person is working so hard. I don't think that way.

I watched American TV shows: Starsky & Hutch, Dallas, Rockford Files, Bonanza. And for many summers growing up, I worked on my aunt and uncle's farm in East Anglia. Down the street was an American cemetery for the Second World War, and every Memorial Day an American bomber would fly over that cemetery and drop rose petals.

The Clash, in particular, transcends any category.

A Murphy [Eddie Murphy] movie is like a Sidney Poitier comedy - he's that intensely good... He revolutionized acting. He's literally black Brando. Before Eddie Murphy, there were two schools of acting for a black actor: Either you played it LIKE THIS or youplayeditlahkdis. He was the first black guy in a movie to talk like I am talking right now. That did not exist for black actors before him.

I'm consciously working very hard at not eating.

A movie is a miracle, even if it turns out to be a disappointment.

I think there's a core of real anger or misery inside every true stand-up comic.

The Ranger who trained me at the time was [American] Major Buck Kernan, who became Supreme Allied Commander. I hadn't spoken to him in a few years, but he reached out to me and said, "I'm so proud of you."

The comics I've talked to have varied styles as stand-ups, but the throughline is that it's the most intense thing they've ever done.

When we went to war at the Falklands, Buck Kernan had to shake each man's hand as we boarded a boat for war.

Pro Publica distorts the relationship between organizations and their consultants.

Do I believe the execution will work out? Les Moonves said yes to Survivor based partly upon my show Eco-Challenge. He liked my way of filming outdoors. It was the first use of helicopters on a documentary with the gyro-stabilized lenses. And a certain beauty of filming, allowing the drops to fall from a leaf into a puddle, allowing a spider to weave a web. Taking the breath to allow that to happen rather than showing scene after scene.

One of the wonderful things about Portlandia - and I'm not just blowing smoke, although I can blow smoke, but I'm not - is that there is an expansive feeling to each segment. It's not reductive. It doesn't seem like sketch comedy.

When you've got kids, it's a big undertaking. It's like doing four movies in a row.

When you do something bad and you know you can do it, only you know you can do it. And do it while it's hot, man.

The reason I have managed to get so many shows on television is because I've tried to be authentic. When you're gonna spend millions of dollars to see that come to life, they better believe it's a good idea, A. B, they better believe that the person who's telling the idea is gonna put themselves into this.

Why would you go anyplace without your iPad? This is the greatest invention. When it gets a little more power, my God. It's like my office.

One of the best compliments I ever got was "You know what I like about you? You're smart enough to be scared. So many guys come on cocky, they don't want to go over their stuff, they don't want to do a pre-interview. You're always smart enough to be worried till the last minute."

The number-one show in America on Sundays will be Celebrity Apprentice. Monday nights, The Voice will be number one. Wednesday nights, Survivor will be number one. And Friday nights, Shark Tank will be number one. It just takes some time management for me to focus.

Even if a movie's not a hit, it still has to have something to do with the big thing, which is the stand-up. It pays the most, first of all. It's the thing that I can do at a high, high level. Amongst the best.

My dad is a little Scottish guy with tattoos all over his arms.