Top 420 Quotes & Sayings by Shaquille O'Neal - Page 4

If I get that thing down there in that area, that's 67% lifetime. If you don't believe me, Google it. I'm on the Internet.

Guys have made livings off me. Nick Anderson got a new contract. Travis Knight got a new contract off me. As a matter of fact, Derek Fisher called me yesterday to thank me. If you double me, I'm kicking out to Eddie, who's the best shooter in the East. Or I'm going to give it to Dwyane, or put it on the ground and come bang on you.

I blame Riley for my broken thumb, not Matt Geiger. That ain't defense Miami is playing. That's just chopping. I have no idea how his team gets away with it. I guess when you've been in the league 30 years you can do it. Respect, he gets it - he's like John Gotti.

Last time I looked at a [pay]check, I said to myself, 'Who the hell is FICA? And when I meet him, I'm going to punch him in the face. Oh my God, FICA is killing me.'

I dribble rhymes like basketball... People call me 'E.T.' What's that, Shaq man? 'Extra Tall.'

It matters in a fatherly way.

I'm George Bush. I'm the president.

I don't know. I don't have a fax machine, so I didn't get that message.

I'd heard stuff from out there that I was just another player, that I was too young. I wanted to show I could play with anybody.

He's the Italian version of my father. I don't know if he's Italian or not.

In this millennium that we live in, the 'Hack-a-Shaq'has proven not to work. It might work a couple games every now and then, but when it comes to the playoffs or a championship series, it doesn't work - not at all.

When I was young I was on punishment a lot and I used to watch a lot of TV, and I asked myself a question: 'How come people like Mike? How come they like Magic? How come they like Bird? How come they don't like the big guys?' So I just throw a little bit of what they were doing. You smile, you act crazy and silly. And I think people like me because I'm different. I've always been a class clown type of guy. It comes natural.

I was a medium-level juvenile delinquent from Newark who always dreamed about doing a movie. Someone said, 'Hey, here's $7 million, come in and do this genie movie.' What am I going to say, no? So I did it.

Somebody out there was trying to use my language and trying to speak for me. Rather than have that happen, I thought I'd do it myself. It's a fun thing. It's a way for fans to connect.

Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit.

I had orders from the great Bill Russell. Me and him were talking in Seattle the other day, and he was telling me how rivalries should be. I asked him if he ever disliked anybody he played against, and he told me, 'No, never,' and he told me that I should shake Kobe Bryant's hand and let bygones be bygones and bury the hatchet.

Everybody talks about being a role model. But if you look up the word 'role' in a dictionary, it describes playing a part. Everything I'm into, it's real to me. There's nothing fake about it.

That has nothing to do with basketball. That's just because I'm sexy.

I wouldn't. I would just go home. I'd fake an injury or something.

If you've got a Corvette that runs into a brick wall, you know what's going to happen. He's a Corvette. I'm a brick wall.

We want stuff done right. As long as it's my team, I'll voice my opinion. Yep, it's my team. You media guys might give it to him, like you've given him everything else his whole lifetime, but this is the Diesel's ship. And if we're not right, I'm going to go out there and try to get it right... Just ask Karl and Garywhy they wanted to come here. It was because of one person, not two. One.

I didn't say anything. Got nothing to say. I'm a married man; I don't need a relationship with another man.

I would love an extension, who wouldn't? If they offer me a $35 million-a-year extension, I'll sign it right now. I won't even read the contract. I'm just here to take care of business and I know can help give the city what it's looking for.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I don't know their names. Their names have been erased from my memory banks. If I tried to bring 'em back, I'd get shocked.

Sometimes I feel like the Tom Hanks character in Big. But my life is not a movie. I never have to go back to Coney Island to find the fortune-teller machine so I have to grow up again.

Let's put it in old movie Mafia terms. There are guys that are in position to get by but they didn't wait their turn. They back-doored the top guy to get the power. For example, Sonny Corleone went up there, and he wanted to be the top guy. And the Godfather said, 'You know what dude, I'm a star.' That's what I'm doing now, and that's what I was trying to do with what's-his-name.

I've been 11, 12 percent body fat my whole career. But when you've got a big, sexy, beautiful man that's up in the 340s, 350s, the way you guys were taught on this planet, you're going to automatically think it's fat.

I'm probably going to have to go with Kobester. He's an assassin with LeBron coming right after.

That's what I do. I get in and get under people's skin and all that stuff. But you will remember me - and that's all that matters.

I've been the type of person [and] the type of athlete, I don't like to be given anything. I like to earn.

That's sort of a trick question, and I don't have a trick answer. Next question, please.

I want to go to police academy, I want to actually go out and make a couple of arrests. I want to go undercover.

I'm a realist. I like to put it in business terms. I ran three different corporations my way and I was successful. But I'm an older guy who is on his way out so they brought me in as a consultant for the new, up-and-coming CEO. I'm here for him.

Thank God I had two parents who loved me enough to stay on my case.

Alvin's the coach. We must be the Clippers. And I must be Olowokandi. Nooooo!

Well, Doctor, I don't have the diagnosis on that. I'll be sure to do a physical checkup and get back to you.

This is my disguise, but it doesn't work.

We had more great times than bad times together, but they've moved on, I've moved on. I have a new team now and I have a new focus.

Since I suffered the injury on company time, why shouldn't I also be able to get surgery and do recovery on company time?

Most ferocious was Kobe. Fiercest, most competitive, it was Kobe. D Wade is second after that.

I'll beat you up right now if you want me to.

I'm sort of like a specialist. I go in, do what I do and every four years, they get tired of me and I have to relocate myself.

I told my wife the other day, I'm the Halle Berry of the NBA. Everybody wants this, baby. Everybody wants me.

The East is going to be pretty easy for me. The Great Chest of the West becomes the Great Beast of the East.

A writer from ESPN magazine once described me as the world's largest eleven-year-old. That's true. I ride my Sea-Doo jet ski, play putt-putt golf, go to water parks, and act silly. On the bottom floor of my house in Beverly Hills, I have video games, a pool table, a Pepsi machine, and all the things they have in arcades. I drive go-karts, at least the ones I can fit in. I karate-chop my friends when they come over, like the Kato dude in the Pink Panther movies.

It's t'ai chi every time. I'm using your positive energy, and I'm blowing off it. See, most guys can't push, they got to lean. When they lean, I spin.

Going from Army base to base as a kid taught me to be a man of all nations. I'd go to the Jewish people and say, 'Shalom, brother.' I go to the Muslim people and say, 'Salaam aleikum.'I go to the Chinese people and say, 'Nee hao mah,' which means, 'How you doin'?' I go to the Japanese people and say, 'Konnichiwa.' I go to San Antonio, Texas, and I get along with Mexicans. Then I go to Louisiana and hang with the Creoles. Moving around a lot made me a man of all people.

We know what we have to do. I know I have to get up in the morning, put my underwear on first and then put my pants on first. I don't need people to tell me that.

Their unselfishness, the way they play and their poise factor. When you never panic, that's a great sign.

I... am... the son of Jor-El!

He doesn't need advice on how to play his position, but he needs advice on how to play team ball... If it's going to be my team, I'll voice my opinion. If he don't like it, he can opt out.

I don't ever want to grow up. I guess I'm like Peter Pan. Grown-ups have problems. I want to stay happy.

There is nothing to say because I know everything about him. I raised him. I know what's a charade, and I know what's not a charade. I'll leave it at that.

When you've got a guy that's going to look for you, you run. A lot of people think I can't run, but my thing was I wasn't going to be running if you're not going to throw it. I know Nash will throw it.

How can Benedict Arnold be reliable in what he says?

I don't have to make a point. I'm George Bush. I'm the president. I built that arena, so I don't have to make a point.

You know what's crazy about Yao? He speaks perfect English. A lot of people don't know that. Perfect English. When I was over there, I called him. He's like, 'Whassup big fella?' Perfect English!

I'm not the one buying love. He's the one buying love.

You know how I be. Last week Kobe couldn't do without me.