Top 36 Quotes & Sayings by Sid Waddell

Explore popular quotes and sayings by a British entertainer Sid Waddell.
Last updated on November 22, 2024.
Sid Waddell

Sid Waddell was an English sports commentator and television personality. He was nicknamed the 'Voice of Darts' due to his fame as a darts commentator, and worked for Granada, Yorkshire, BBC and Sky Sports. Due to his joke telling skills he was also nicknamed the Thief of Bad Gags, firstly by Dave Lanning. He was nominated for two prestigious awards for his work, and published several books.

He's as cool as a prized marrow!
I'm the world's worst after-dinner speaker. I need pictures to respond to. I was the voice of the lottery balls once and got the sack.
I'm never quite as excited as people think because with my voice, when I shout, I squeak. — © Sid Waddell
I'm never quite as excited as people think because with my voice, when I shout, I squeak.
It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline.
He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.
There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.
Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.
At various points, I've had a massive chip on me shoulder. I had fights about me accent with loads of those fellers you get from third-class public schools. They used to think I was speaking German.
I talk fast because I'm asthmatic, and I'm desperately hoping the words get out before my breath fails.
That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!
I'm a postmodern commentator, and so, in a cheeky parallel to James Joyce or James Kelman, I get to places, verbally, that are a little unusual - when I talk about Jocky Wilson and end up sounding like a Jackson Pollock of the commentary box.
As a kid, I was school swot, but I used to hang around the billiard halls, learning that Geordie sense of humour, mixing with low-lifes. They were the sort who'd pick your pocket and then say 'Here you are lad, here's tuppence, get yourself some chips'. I was a good rugby player, a good runner, so I fitted in at Cambridge quite easily.
He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed. — © Sid Waddell
He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed.
The thing about darts is that you've got to shout. It's not like cricket where you can talk to Michael Atherton and ask him to analyse the bloody nuances. Darts does not have nuances. You've got to hurl yourself at it.
The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!
I want the little lassies who are thinking of going to a nightclub in Cardiff to stop to see what that guy's screaming for, or Grandma to put her knitting down to see why that guy's chatting about Alexander the Great. I'm after pulling in, whether it's in Manila, Beijing or whatever, the biggest possible audience.
The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.
Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.
It's a form of mental and verbal gymnastics, and one of the things that appeals to me most about commenting on darts is that no one knows exactly what I'm going to come out with next - and neither do I.
Golden rule of life: never underestimate your rivals.
Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water-buffalo with a pea-shooter.
Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.
You can get the dart player out of the pub, but you can't get the pub out of the dart player.
That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.
The thing with darts players is they have always appeared available. They don't have to live like monks. I've only ever met one dry player in 35 years.
When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only 27. — © Sid Waddell
When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only 27.
Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy.
Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!
One hundred and eighty, divided by three, is one dart at a time
Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!
When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. [Eric] Bristow is only 27.
When I see Steve Davis I see two letters... C S... Cue Sorceror.
Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax.
William Tell could take an apple off your head, [Phil] Taylor could take out a processed pea.
Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis.
Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train! — © Sid Waddell
Jockey Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train!
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