Top 522 Quotes & Sayings by Stephen Colbert - Page 9

Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.

There was sort of a negative association with the military. Maybe growing up in the South or being in a family with members of the military, I didn't have that negative connotation, but I did have this 'separate' connotation. I was ashamed to realize I had it and did not realize I had it until I was [in Iraq]. I was so impressed by the people I met over there and there was just a sense of connection and gratitude towards those people.

I believe that people, more often than not, act with the best possible intentions. And when they don't, that's funny to me. That's why comedy ends up seeming cynical, because you're talking about the gap between what people say and what they do.

What I rediscovered was the therapeutic nature of singing lessons. They're like doing yoga but for [the] inside of your body. You open up and use muscles that you don't think of as malleable.

A lot of people have said, "Oh, I, boy, I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away."

I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.

I have no interest in behaving or thinking cynically. But it's an easy trap to be cynical about anything, certainly when you're talking about politics or the media.

I hadn't intended to end up there. I meant to be a serious actor with a beard who wore a lot of black and wanted to share his misery with you.

You've gotta understand what Putin's strategy is. He really doesn't like democracy. He thinks it's an inconvenient, messy process. And he doesn't like us, and he wants to destabilize our country; sow doubt about our democracy.

I'm just very interested in what my guests have to say. You have to be vigilant to stay ignorant.

I imagined myself living in New York in some sort of open, large but sparse studio apartment with a lot of blond wood and a futon on the floor and a bubbling samovar of tea in the background and a big beard - living alone but with my beard - and doing theater. That's what I thought my life would be.

We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.

I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part of the show that can most surprise me. The written part of the show, I know I can get wrong. You can't really get the interview "wrong."

Trump will not respond to reasoned argument. He will not be held accountable for the things he said. All you can do is point and laugh. Because the devil cannot abide mockery.

I tell a lot of young performers, 'Go get in trouble. Go commit yourself to something you're not sure you can do.' And I followed my own advice.

I'm fascinated that people drawn to cults want to know what to do. And people want to know what to think. And people want to know how to feel. Not just what to feel but how to feel.

If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.

It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, "I command you to do this." The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.

There is a residual sense for me, having grown up in the early '70s, that I did not know I had, which was a sense that the military are different than I. Because there was such a divide between the military world - and there still is, because there's no draft - and the civilian world is one of the rotten harvests of the Vietnam War, was this sort of bifurcation of America in that way.

I'm obviously younger, much better looking [then Jeorge W.Bush].He didn't veto things, he didn't bring order and fiscal restraint.

Truthiness is "What I say is right, and [nothing] anyone else says could possibly be true." It's not only that I feel it to be true, but that I feel it to be true. There's not only an emotional quality, but there's a selfish quality.

Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor.

I could sit toe to toe at a potato table with anybody.

For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.

I used to play a narcissistic-conservative pundit. Now, I'm just a narcissist.

A press that has validity is a press that has authority. And as soon as there's any authority to what the press says, you question the authority of the government - it's like the existence of another authority.

With Late Night Show I can begin the search for the real Stephen Colbert.I just hope I don't find him on Ashley Madison.

Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. Performing the show is far more athletic and intuitive, because you don't get to do it twice. It helps if you've done whatever the old saw is, 10,000 hours of it. Because I've done 10,000 hours of comedy, I have this database in my mind of what works and what doesn't work.

Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.

We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always have fresh dirt to dig in.

We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.

We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at us.

I'm proud of my ability to understand what somebody else is trying to do and help them achieve it, because part of the aesthetic of improvisation is service. We don't lead, we only follow. You never say no. Serve the servant, follow the follower. And that's very valuable in your life, as well as very valuable in your work.

You seem cynical because you're always talking about that selfish behavior that's dressed up as altruism. It doesn't mean there isn't altruism. It just means that it's harder to make jokes about altruism.

The only thing that keeps us going back to one another is that we're all filled with such enormous self-doubt. We have doubts about our ability to be alone, to self-actualize.

I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.

I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.

You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you credit for how loud you say it.

If you imitate someone, you owe them a royalty check. If you emulate them, you don't. There's a big difference. Check your lawyer.

Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.

The goal is to have fun with my friends.And that means sometimes talking about things that you care about.