Top 99 Quotes & Sayings by Steven Crowder - Page 2

Ever since my grade school days, as I mastered the art of 'faking sick' and I stumbled across 'The View,' I've been confusedly asking myself the same question... How do these dumb broads remain gainfully employed?

When I see out-of-shape, overweight people huffing and puffing in the gym, my eyes well up with tears of pride. I want to walk over to them, hug them, and say, 'Good on you for getting in here. It gets better!' You know why? Because they're challenging themselves.

God bless America, God bless the troops.

You can be a namby-pamby leftie, a gun-toting neo-con, or a soft, indecisive moderate. I really don't care. Just don't lie to me.

I am consistently amazed at Sean Hannity's inability to host his own show. He's a dear, dear man - a very nice person... these liberals who aren't even that smart just come in and absolutely bulldoze him like a child.

Joy Behar... Is never even funny accidentally.

The mistake that all 'long-term poor people' make is putting others under a microscope in an attempt to set blame. That right there is a true loser's mentality (or 'poppycock' if you will).

Tinseltown really likes to think that they have a handle on all things 'love.' After all, they've turned it into a billion dollar industry with romance films, trashy TV shows, and 'who's-dating-who' tabloids.

I'm a pansy when compared to the men and women of the United States military.

To a straight man, the notion of walking around as a coiffed, waxed, nail-polish-wearing, lispy dude is uproariously absurd. As people, we find absurdities funny. That's our first step in making sense of them.

People can hold any opinion that they want on any subject that they choose. Just don't proactively lie to people. It's a simple request, really, and one that we don't hear nearly enough.

All I'm saying is that I rarely find myself pointing to Sean Penn's love life thinking, 'I want to be like that.'

President Obama... is a wimp.

Unless taught otherwise, children are the most selfish, oblivious little Philistines on the planet. They have no family, no job, no responsibilities, and nothing but time to think about their gluttonous, sticky selves. We should be teaching them to take some focus off of themselves and onto how they can best serve/treat others.

I spent a lot of my life afraid as a kid, even throughout high school.

All of my videos, everything I upload is short and edited.

For people who seem so hell-bent on multiculturalism, why can't liberals understand that free enterprise/freedom is a part of the American Culture?

North Korea is really just the kid who decided he'd be 'all out crazy,' hoping people would be scared off by the tirades and avoid stepping up to the plate.

A four-year-old should have no self-esteem, and for good reason. What could he have possibly accomplished in his life to justify esteeming oneself so highly?

The truth is that the gossip-hounds in Tinsel Town and the cackling windbags at 'The View' don't want civility. They want catty (or dare I say it gay-ish) gossip and sensational headlines that provide them with an opportunity to hop on the bully pulpit.

Why on Earth would the United States ever want to be more like Europe? Correct me if I'm wrong, but we left, did we not? Not only did we leave that older, lesser world behind, but we left skid-marks along the way with an entire continent eating our proverbial dust.

To all you men out there who want to use turning the other cheek as an excuse for your weakness... man up! Develop yourself to the point that you are powerful enough to face any conflict in your life head on and without trouble. Then, use your newfound confidence to avoid the conflict.

We all know that Kim Jong-il is 'buy-yourself-a-handgun' crazy. It's pretty much a given.

I think that if every Christian acted like Christ, the world would be a better place. If every Muslim acted like Muhammad, according to modern law, they would have to be jailed.

I'm not saying Michael Moore's smarter than Sean Hannity, but Michael Moore is better at running interviews than Hannity, even though Hannity's running the interview!

Often, my liberal Canadian brethren will claim that 'Canada doesn't get involved in foreign affairs or wars overseas. We turn the other cheek.' No. Canada doesn't have the military might to exercise any option other than to remain uninvolved. They aren't turning the other cheek. They're pulling a Sweden.

Death is not only a passing on but a time for everyone else to truthfully reflect on one's life.

I guess as far as leftists are concerned, the United States can't qualify as a 'cultured society' simply because we've actually created a society that works.

The painful truth is that in its attempt to remain 'morally neutral,' Hollywood is causing us to raise a nation of cads and harlots... Thanks again, Sean Penn!

I still can't decide which is silliest; a person believing in a God who 'isn't there,' or a person offended by a God whom he doesn't believe exists.

Even though ripping on those of the Christian cloth is nothing new, edgy, or thought provoking, Hollywood feels the need to do it with each of their religiously overtoned talkies.

When Barack Obama tries to continually weasel his ever-expanding government into the private sector or does something like try to sneak the biggest backdoor tax in history into the books, he ceases to be 'Presidential.'

Contrary to what most of Hollywood will tell you, the men and women of our armed forces are the best among us. Not only because of how they serve, but because they are able to find the best in each other... And they are able to encapsulate the best in all of us.

If I hadn't been raised in such a logical household, the entertainment industry would have elicited only one reaction from me in regards to 'Christians': 'Good God, these people are crazy.'

In an increasingly complex world, with courseloads becoming heavier and heavier, shouldn't we be opting for more accountability when it comes to our professors, not less?

At the end of the day, if you're not spanking your child and instilling in them the ideas of selflessness, servitude, and wisdom, you're probably looking at a future P. Diddy in the making (maybe even a Keith Olbermann - take your pick).

My name is Steven Crowder, and I happen to find blatant gayness funny. I mean really funny.

Folks, it's okay to find flamboyant homosexuality funny.

If appeasing other nations means that we need to begin acting like them, you can count me out.