Top 131 Quotes & Sayings by Steven Moffat - Page 2

You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!

I wouldn't mind removing all the mistakes I have made. That would be exhausting and take forever. Honestly, it's one of the spells of my life that has been the most perfect. Not because I did the job perfectly, because of course I did it very imperfectly, but because I enjoyed it so much. What would I change? I complain a lot. I whinge, I more or less communicate in levels of complaint so I wish sometimes I didn't just spend all my time saying, 'I'm working so hard, what do I get in return for this?'.

Always take a banana to a party.

River Song? Amy Pond? Hardly weak women. It's the exact opposite. You could accuse me of having a fetish for powerful, sexy women who like cheating people. That would be fair.

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.

It's a TV show. Only the emotional damage is real.

It's the 50th year of Doctor Who and look what's going on! We're up in the sky and under the sea! We're running round the rings of an alien world and then a haunted house. There's new Cybermen, new Ice Warriors and a never before attempted journey to the centre of the TARDIS. And in the finale, the Doctor's greatest secret will at last be revealed! If this wasn't already our most exciting year it would be anyway!

Well we've moved through the funfair a bit – we've done the rollercoaster, now we're on the ghost train.

The universe is big, its vast and complicated, and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles. And that's the theory. Nine hundred years, never seen one yet, but this would do me.

Sherlock Holmes can be wise and funny. He wasn't, at the beginning. But later on, he's got a bantering relationship with loads of people. He's got a wisdom that he didn't have in the early stage. But he stays on the mountain top, and he will die up there. He's not going to change that.

There's one thing you don't put in a trap, if you're smart, if you value your continued existance, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never ever put in a trap. And what would that be sir? Me

The Doctor: This is bad, I don't like this. [kicks console and yells in pain] Never use force, you just embarrass yourself. Unless you're cross, in which case... always use force! Amy: Shall I run and get the manual? The Doctor: I threw it in a supernova. Amy: You threw the manual in a supernova? Why? The Doctor: Because I disagreed with it! Now stop talking to me when I'm cross!

[The Doctor, Capt. Jack and Rose are cornered by the empty children.] The Doctor: Go to your room! Go to your room! I mean it. I'm very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross! GO! TO! YOUR! ROOM! [The children lurch away and obey him.] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.

The Doctor: Doctor Song, you've got that face on again. River: What face? The Doctor: The "He's hot when he's clever" face. River: This is my normal face. The Doctor: Yes it is. River: Oh, shut up. The Doctor: Not a chance.

Hitler: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you just saved my life. The Doctor: Believe me... It was an accident.

Amy Pond: 'I thought... well, I started to think you were just a madman with a box.' The Doctor: 'Amy Pond, there's something you better understand about me, 'cause it's important and one day your life may depend on it. [He Smiles] I am definitely a madman with a box.

We're thrilled to have Maisie Williams joining us on Doctor Who. It's not possible to say too much about who or what she's playing, but she is going to challenge the Doctor in very unexpected ways. This time he might just be out of his depth, and we know Maisie is going to give him exactly the right sort of hell.

Think you've seen it all? Think again. Outside those doors, we might see anything. We could find new worlds, terrifying monsters, impossible things. And if you come with me... nothing will ever be the same again!

You have to take your own bold approach, and if you do you will be rewarded with success. Or calamitous failure. That can happen too.

You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful — and then you actually talk with them, and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick. But then there's other people, and you meet them and you think: "Not bad, they're okay," and then you get to know them, and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality's written all over it; and they just — and they turn into something so beautiful.

Between the marriages, I shagged my way round television studios like a mechanical digger.

There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick.

The Doctor: It's my nose; it has special powers. Nancy: Yeah? That why it's so...? The Doctor: What? Nancy: Nothing. The Doctor: What? Nancy: Nothing. Do your ears have special powers too?

Madge: I don't know why I keep shouting at them. The Doctor: Because every time you see them happy you remember how sad they're going to be. And it breaks your heart. Because what's the point in them being happy now if they're going to be sad later. The answer is, of course, because they are going to be sad later. ~ The Doctor, the Widow, and the Wardrobe

Do you know how you make someone into a Dalek? Subtract Love, add Anger.

Kathy Nightingale: What's good about sad? Sally Sparrow: It's happy for deep people.

Come on, Rory! It isn't rocket science, it's just quantum physics! -The Doctor (Matt Smith)

The Doctor: Oh, now what's this, then? I love this. A big, flashy-lighty thing. That's what brought me here. Big, flashy-lighty things have got me written all over them. Not actually, but give me time... and a crayon.

There’s this issue you’re not allowed to discuss: that women are needy. Men can go for longer, more happily, without women. That’s the truth. We don’t, as little boys, play at being married - we try to avoid it for as long as possible. Meanwhile women are out there hunting for husbands.

Amy: "Can I come?" Doctor: "Not safe in here, not yet. Five minutes. Give me five minutes and I'll be right back." Amy: "People always say that." Doctor: "Am I people?...Do I even look like people?...Trust me, I'm the Doctor.

You can be as beautiful and charming as you'd like, but if you're not terrific at acting, it will mean nothing on the screen.

Amy: I never knew you drank wine. Doctor: I'm 1103 I must have drunk it sometime in my life. *takes sip and spits it out in disgust*

Reinette: One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.

Rose: Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas! The Doctor: Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve? Rose: [shocked] What? The Doctor: And everybody lives, Rose! Everybody lives! I need more days like this! Go on, ask me anything; I'm on fire!

The Doctor: I've seen bigger. Clara: Really? The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive!

Amy: I had something I wanted to tell him. Stuff always gets in the way. Canton: Stuff does that.

Well, the world is vastly counted in favour of men at every level - except if you live in a civilised country and you’re sort of educated and middle-class, because then you’re almost certainly junior in your relationship and in a state of permanent, crippled apology. Your preferences are routinely mocked. There’s a huge, unfortunate lack of respect for anything male.

The Doctor: [aiming gun at the ceiling] Didn't anyone ever tell you? There's one thing you never put in a trap if you're smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there's one thing you never, ever put in a trap. Angel Bob: And what would that be, sir? The Doctor: Me. [fires]

So is this how it works Doctor? You never interfere with the affairs of other peoples or planets, unless there are children crying?

The Doctor...is embarrassingly human for an alien.

I always rip out the last page of a book. Then it doesn't have to end. I hate endings!

It’s been a long time since Sherlock Holmes jumped off that roof - it’s time to reveal the truth about what happened between him and the pavement.

I'll be a story in your head. That's okay. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? 'Cause it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back.

Rose: 'If you are an alien, how come you sound like you're from the north?' Doctor: 'Lots of planets have a north!

Have you met the French? My...GOD they know how to party!

Keep this straight in your head: we are not fighting an alien invasion - we're leading a revolution. And today the battle begins.

I stole your childhood and now I’ve led you by the hand to your death. But the worst thing is, I knew. I knew this would happen. This is what always happens. Forget your faith in me. I took you with me because I was vain. Because I wanted to be adored. Look at you. Glorious Pond, the girl who waited for me. I’m not a hero. I really am just a mad man in a box. And it’s time we saw each other as we really are. Amy Williams, it’s time to stop waiting.

You don't want to take over the universe. You wouldn't know what to do with it beyond shout at it.

If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best.

Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman are back in Cardiff, back in the box, and back in action - for one of our scariest adventures yet!

Demons run when a good man goes to war.

Madame Kovarian: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules. The Doctor: Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.

Sarah Jane Smith was everybody's hero when I was younger, and as brave and funny and brilliant as people only ever are in stories. But many years later, when I met the real Sarah Jane - Lis Sladen herself - she was exactly as any child ever have wanted her to be. Kind and gentle and clever; and a ferociously talented actress, of course, but in that perfectly English unassuming way.

I was called a misogynist because I was reducing women to mothers. 'Reducing women to mothers' – now there is possibly the most anti-women statement I've heard.

As we all know, it is the proper duty of every British subject to come to the aid of the TARDIS.

The Doctor: Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink.

The Doctor: Just had a fall. All the way down there, right to the library. Heck of a climb back up. Amelia: You're soaking wet. The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool. Amelia: You said you were in the library. The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.

Everybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair and the Doctor comes to call, everybody lives.

You could only draw conclusions about my personal sexual politics if you proceed from the assumption that I was presenting the characters as the way it is and the way it ought to be. But both are clearly defined as deranged – it’s love among the mad. He’s a psycopath, so is she. She’s prepared to throw him to the dogs until he works out the code, he’s prepared to let her nearly get executed. They’re not really going to buy a house and a Volvo together. I’m not saying this is how people should date!

River Song: Right, I have questions. But number one is this: what in the name of sanity have you got on your head? The Doctor: It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.