List-Quotes

Top 70 Quotes & Sayings by Tim Vine - Page 2

Explore popular quotes and sayings by a British comedian Tim Vine.

Last updated on November 8, 2024.

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house. — © Tim Vine

I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

For one thing, I don’t pun excessively in real life.

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.

Tim Vine

Tim Vine

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