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Top 70 Quotes & Sayings by Tim Vine - Page 2
Explore popular quotes and sayings by a British comedian Tim Vine.
Last updated on December 25, 2024.
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."
You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.
I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.
I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.
I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.
You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.
For one thing, I don’t pun excessively in real life.
So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."
Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.
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