Top 50 Quotes & Sayings by Yakov Smirnoff

Explore popular quotes and sayings by a Russian comedian Yakov Smirnoff.
Last updated on September 20, 2024.
Yakov Smirnoff

Yakov Naumovich Pokhis, better known as Yakov Smirnoff, is a Ukrainian-American comedian, actor and writer. He began his career as a stand-up comedian in Ukraine, then immigrated to the United States in 1977 in order to pursue an American show business career, not yet knowing any English. He reached his biggest success in the mid-to-late 1980s, appearing in several films which include Moscow on The Hudson with Robin Williams, The Money Pit with Tom Hanks, Heartburn with Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep, and Brewster's Millions with Richard Pryor. He was a star of the television series What a Country! and was a recurring guest star on NBC's hit television series Night Court playing a part of Yakov Korolenko. His comic persona was of a naive immigrant from the Soviet Union who was perpetually confused and delighted by life in the United States. His humor combined a mockery of life under communism and of consumerism in the United States, as well as word play caused by misunderstanding of American phrases and culture, all punctuated by the catchphrase, "And I thought, 'What a country!'"

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
Never having alone time is real tough on people.
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it. — © Yakov Smirnoff
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales. — © Yakov Smirnoff
We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.
I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
People in Tulsa are totally friendly; the crowds are very nice.
Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
As Americans after 9/11, we're much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I mean the harmony you can feel in our united determination to fight these terrorists and killers.
When you like something, you find time to do it.
When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
We have a choice - we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts.
It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
I have American in-laws, and I care about the environment. We don't use disposable diapers, which, of course, creates an environmental problem of our own.
In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
To my real estate agent, Chernobyl is a fixer-upper.
I was this non-threatening funny guy who contrasted the image of the Brezhnevs and the Reagans of the world.
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year. That's why you need a strong line of communication... which includes laughter.
After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in. — © Yakov Smirnoff
The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
I fed my ego, but not my soul.
There's depth in my comedy.
Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.
In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you! — © Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
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