Top 25 Quotes & Sayings by Amy Chan

Get in the habit of writing down three things you're grateful for every day. Studies show that in a two-minute span of time, done over 21 days in a row, you can actually rewire your brain. Your brain starts to retain a pattern of scanning the world for the positive versus the negative. Seeing things in a frame of positivity and gratitude is a muscle. You can strengthen this muscle through practice.

If you want to know someone, just look at who they choose to spend their time with.

The "natural" instincts when someone is going through a breakup are counterintuitive to healing. For instance, many people stop eating or eat very unhealthy, and if your body is not fed the necessary nutrients during this trying time, it's extremely difficult for you to heal emotionally. So, first things first, force yourself to eat, even if that entails drinking green smoothies so you're getting nutrients in your body.

Be kind and gentle on yourself. In this fast-paced world, we are so hard on ourselves and impatient with healing. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to speed up the process. Sure, you can numb the pain or distract yourself, but if you don't allow yourself to process the emotion in a healthy way, the pain and darkness just gets buried deep inside you, and eventually comes up in your future relationships. Stop blaming yourself, and instead try to look for the lesson and the growth opportunity.

Chemistry does not guarantee compatibility.

Spend less time shopping, more time traveling.

What really has helped me through my own breakups has been learning tools to self-soothe, reframe, and forgive, and how to channel negative energy into positive. Resilience is a muscle. Learning how to cope and process painful emotions is a muscle. And I've been through enough ups and downs to know that you have a choice. You can use breakups, which are pivotal points in life, as a catalyst for growth, or you can choose to have it make you jaded and more fear-based.

Sometimes, things need to come undone for better things to come together.

I've learned that each time you go through a breakup, the pain isn't any more or less intense or hard, but the way you process and get back up can be different when you learn the tools to get yourself back to equilibrium. There are so many lessons that can be learned during times of heartbreak, and there's an opportunity to grow and become more emotionally healthy.

Gratitude is a choice. Happiness is an attitude.

You don't achieve greatness in life being surrounded by mediocre people with mediocre values. Choose your company wisely.

People will become what you think of them. See them for their beauty and they will rise up. See them for their darkness, and they will fall.

Integrity is when your good intentions meet your actions - on a consistent basis.

Strive to be authentic, not perfect.

You may not be able to change the events of your history, but you can change the story you've attached to those events.

Try to look at the bigger picture. The majority of people you date will not be your destination. They were meant to be a bridge. So find the lesson, the growth opportunity so you don't have to keep repeating your pattern and crossing that same bridge over and over again. Once you learn what you need to learn and become more self-aware and emotionally healthy, you will then cross another bridge, and one day you'll get to your destination.

There's a great difference between being positive and being delusional.

I've learned through the years how to base my identity and sense of self-worth on myself and not others. I've learned the most critical tool of all: self-love. Now, if it doesn't work out with someone, sure, I'll be hurt. But I'll be bruised, not broken. And I may lose my balance, but I won't be wiped off my feet.

Closing the door to toxicity is the most effective way to make space for new opportunity.

You allow people to treat you the way they do. Your energy, confidence and attitude is the currency that others will transact with.

Have things to look forward to: Plan a trip, treat yourself to the spa, make plans in the future so that you can focus on what you're looking forward to versus how unbearable your present is. Understand that your brain is detaching. It's the same part of the brain that is activated as a cocaine user feening for their next fix. You're literally in withdrawal. Understand that it takes time for your brain and neural pathways to detach. You're not going crazy - it's just a process, and that process takes time.

Oftentimes, we get advice from people who are not equipped to give it, and it does more harm than good.

Hold yourself on your own. A man's job in a romantic dynamic is not to be your butler, bank account or your father.

You cannot teach ambition.

Get support and be surrounded by people who love you. Sit with the discomfort and the emotions instead of distracting yourself and numbing the pain, or it will just haunt you in another form in the future. Don't be afraid of the pain and darkness. There's information there. There's a lesson to be learned. You can use the experience as a catalyst for growth.