Top 144 Quotes & Sayings by Amy Sedaris

Whenever I do your show, sometimes I get a little check in the mail and then I take that check and buy a new pair of shoes, and then I wear those shoes the next time I do your show.

I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.

I always find something to keep me busy.

I just like to have the ideas. Other people can help see them through.

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.

My characters always like themselves.

I like to play unattractive people who think they're pretty. You can do what you want, but I prefer to look interesting.

Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.

I like to make things, but I looked at old craft books on weaving or mosaics or whatever, I'm like, 'I don't really know anything about that stuff.'

Well I went to New Orleans to cover the jazz festival for Trio, it's this new arts channel, it's really great.

My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.

I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.

I like working with the public, and I like that it's really hard work.

I love costumes. My dream growing up was always to have my own costume and prop shop.

I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.

I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.

I'm not a good storyteller. I always think I'm going to get interrupted, or something's going to get edited. I think that comes from being in a large family, so you have to get your story in really quick or someone cuts you off.

I like to entertain in all aspects. When you're with somebody and you're out, you want to be entertained. I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they're bored, and you're in a convalescent home, there's something entertaining about that, in a way.

I feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it's different when you're sitting down and writing it out.

I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me.

I have a very muscular face.

They just expected it to you know... Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?

I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.

I like people who would rather something be discovered than shoved in your face.

You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.

I have no desire to carry a movie.

David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends.

There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.

I like to just make things... If I have the TV on, I'm not just going to sit there. I want to do something with my hands; I've always got a project. Or I get a small group of people over, and I say, 'Let's make these things today.'

I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wish I wasn't doing it. But very seldom does that happen.

I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.

More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They don't like to see an ugly lady.

I'm not ambitious.

It was more of their quirky show. It was more like a cult show. The ratings weren't really that high.

Usually I'm the one asking somebody to do something because I don't know how to finish it. I'm like, 'Do this for me' because I'm just resistant to learning.

I swear I want to be a food model.

My kitchen's pink, like skin-tone pink, and I lowered my spice rack so it's eye level - it's true! - and my phone, so I can reach it when I fall, it's right there.

I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.

But I love how people who are musical, they know how to dress.

I wasn't a cliquey person, and I think that's because I came from a large family. I got along with everybody, and I usually got along with the people that people didn't like.

A lot of crafters, they're shut-ins.

I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.

Books are challenging and inspirational to me.

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.

I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someone's yard on the way home from school, I would go to the end of the block and turn.

I live in the moment.

I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be' this person, you know? So then its like, if I'm really this person, how can I be in the moment if I know there's just one line I'm supposed to say? It doesn't feel natural. I always just kind of want to say whatever comes up.

When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.

I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.

You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.

I stayed in New York City for the first time, I'd always wanted to do that.

I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.

I'm not a first-place person.

I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they're a little naive - you made it because you needed it.

My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.

People always think I'm Amy Poehler, which never bothers me. I mean, Amy Poehler is great.

I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.

I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.

I'm very domestic; I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don't break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.