Top 35 Quotes & Sayings by Andy Kaufman

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Andy Kaufman.
Last updated on December 25, 2024.
Andy Kaufman

Andrew Geoffrey Kaufman was an American entertainer and performance artist. While often called a comedian, Kaufman preferred to describe himself instead as a "song and dance man". He has sometimes been called an "anti-comedian". He disdained telling jokes and engaging in comedy as it was traditionally understood, once saying in an interview, "I am not a comic, I have never told a joke. The comedian's promise is that he will go out there and make you laugh with him. My only promise is that I will try to entertain you as best I can."

My parents would say, 'Why don't you go out and play?' and I would say, 'I can't! I'm putting on my shows!'
There's no drama like wrestling.
Clifton and I don't even look alike. He smokes and drinks, and I do neither. He's a big fat guy, and if it weren't for me, no one would know who he is. — © Andy Kaufman
Clifton and I don't even look alike. He smokes and drinks, and I do neither. He's a big fat guy, and if it weren't for me, no one would know who he is.
I'm just singing a song, and if people want to laugh, that's their business.
There's no way to describe what I do. It's just me.
Tank you veddy much.
I'm an open book.
If I was going to be a little boy about it, I'd go into hiding for one or two years. But if I was going to be a man about it, it'd be 20 or 30 years.
I would like to do the Elvis Presley.
I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut - or get angry from the gut.
The more they hate you, the better you're doing.
Pure entertainment is not an egotistical lady singing boring songs onstage for two hours and people in tuxes clapping whether they like it or not. It's the real performers on the street who can hold people's attention and keep them from walking away.
I never told a joke in my life.
If I play my cards right, I could bring network wrestling back to TV. Unfortunately, to most people, wrestling is a laughingstock. But fortunately, I'm reaching people who otherwise wouldn't watch it.
Every time my manager approached big network executives or even cable, they told him I was too dangerous. They couldn't trust me.
I'm from Hollywood. That's where we make movies and TV shows... I'm not from down here in men-fus ten-uh-see, okay?
When I perform, it's very personal. I'm sharing things I like, inviting the audience into my room.
I thought Doodyville was inside of the television. You know, like, if television was this box - and if I went inside the box that was a television, I'd be in Doodyville.
While all the other kids were out playing ball and stuff, I used to stay in my room and imagine that there was a camera in the wall. And I used to really believe that I was putting on a television show and that it was going out to somewhere in the world.
I just want the audience to have a wonderful, happy feeling inside them and leave with big smiles on their faces.
My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didn't think little boys should be sad. When my brother was born, I stared out the window for days. Can you imagine that?
What's real? What's not? That's what I do in my act, test how other people deal with reality.
It's not that I was crazy. It's just that I was sad at times because the world was sad at times. When I would perform, it wasn't sad anymore.
I'm having everything. I'm a vegetarian, too. But in my mother's house, I eat whatever I'm served.
Any wrestler who will piledrive Lawler and injure him like he did me gets five thousand dollars from me!
I try to please people, to give them a good time, but I refuse to make my act conform to traditional show-biz standards of entertainment. There's a little voice that says, 'Oh, no, you can't do that, that's breaking all the rules.' That's the voice of show business. Then this other little voice says, 'Try it.' And most of the time, when the voice comes on and says, 'No,' that's the time it works.
My mother sent me to psychiatrists since the age of four because she didnt think little boys should be sad. When my brother was born, I stared out the window for days. Can you imagine that?
When you go through a tunnel - you're going on a train - you go through a tunnel, the tunnel is dark, but you're still going forward. Just remember that. But if you're not going to get up on stage for one night because you're discouraged or something, then the train is going to stop. Everytime you get up on stage, if it's a long tunnel, it's going to take a lot of times of going on stage before things get bright again. You keep going on stage, you go forward. EVERY night you go on stage.
That was part of the whole original concept. We were thinking, it's off-season, let's do a really fun, local-oriented event, raise money for good causes and bring some music to the valley.
I see the world as an illusion, and we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously — © Andy Kaufman
I see the world as an illusion, and we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously
We're hoping that this will also be the key to starting community events in a place where the whole community can come together. We've been working with the town on the total renovation.
Theres no drama like wrestling.
As they say in my country, the only thing that separates us from the animals is mindless superstition and pointless ritual.
The critics try to intellectualize my material. There's no satire involved. Satire is a concept that can only be understood by adults. My stuff is straight, for people of all ages.
Whenever I play a role, whether it's good or bad, an evil person or nice person, I believe in being a purist and going all the way with the role. If I'm going to be a villainous wrestler, I believe in going all the way with it and not breaking character and not giving away to the audience that I'm playing a role. I believe in playing it straight to the hilt.
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