Top 192 Quotes & Sayings by Janeane Garofalo

You know, I've had Botox. The woman who does it is very good, obviously. Very conservative.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person.

To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so off-putting.

I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours.

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

It's been hard in entertainment as a 45-year-old woman to find jobs. They get fewer and far between if you're older, unless you're one of the few lucky ones who work constantly, like Meryl Streep.

Iraq is a manufactured conflict for the sake of geopolitical dominance in the area.

I don't really have a theatre background at all.

I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.

Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.

TV, it's a director's medium, and they wanna make it look interesting. To be rehearsing mostly for the sake of where you're standing so they can do the lighting, that's what I don't like.

I am not a person that is particularly tethered to fashion, which I think is obvious to anyone who's seen me.

When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

I'm not a disciplined writer.

I've seen other comics, with great pleasure, watching their own specials, and I don't know how or why they do it.

Sometimes people say I'm a political comedian, which, actually I'm not. I'm a comedian who sometimes discusses politics, culture - again, the word 'politics' to me is just life.

I say at this point, for different reasons, Bush and Hussein are both very threatening to world peace and to deny that is to be incredibly naive.

You just need an opportunity and then you yourself have to do a good job, and then you hope that people go, 'Oh yeah, I forgot about her.'

German accents and Hassidic accents aren't that romantic. They're more harsh. Although Hebrew, when spoken by certain people, sounds beautiful. There's this beautiful woman I know who speaks Hebrew, and when she speaks, it's so attractive. Maybe it's who's speaking it.

Let's put it this way: I don't have a good work ethic. I have a real casual relationship with hours. I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why, exactly.

I'm not specifically attached to anything other than trying to, in my personal life, fight against where I see right wing thinking. Whether it be around my dinner table or on the street or somebody reading the New York Post.

I don't enjoy sparring with the audience. It devastates me.

Is being an idiot like being high all the time?

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest.

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is trying to marginalize the peace movement.

I remember the old Times Square from when I was younger, and there was a seedy thrill to it. Some of that is gone, which I have a little bit of nostalgia for.

I would have to say loneliness is next to uncleanliness.

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.

I mostly get takeout, I have to admit - I don't know if that's something to be ashamed of. I'm not much of a cook.

I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio. I was very nervous because of the caliber of the cast - especially Dave Foley - so I think I did a terrible job.

You know, there's nothing more interesting than seeing a bunch of racists become confused and angry at a speech they're not quite certain what he's saying.

I don't think Hollywood was trying to do anything with me. In fact, they lost interest pretty quick.

I would say just in general, in life, I'm more willing to be animated as a person, and so obviously onstage as well.

I'm grateful for any opportunity to act.

I'm a sucker for any guy with an accent with any kind.

I do not enjoy when people don't like me.

I was thrilled to work opposite Carl Reiner and Robert De Niro. Mr. Reiner was very chatty and delightful, but I learned that if you want Robert De Niro to like you, don't speak at all, and he'll be friendly to you.

I guess intractable right-wing ideologues are my mortal enemy.

Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'

I love a nice cooking show. It's as aesthetically pleasing as any other thing that tempts the senses, I suppose.

Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in film.

I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.

I don't think Hollywood was trying to do anything with me. In fact, they lost interest pretty quick. I think I got lucky, briefly, in the '90s, and it just so happened that those movies were the opportunities that came my way. Then it just kind of stopped.

A lot of the hate mail I get is clearly misogynist. I am a proud liberal, feminist woman, and the hate mail I get about those three things is not about me.

If you aren't overly effusive or really nicey-nice with the press, you get a reputation for being outspoken or difficult.

I absolutely realize that a celebrity spokesperson is not ideal.

I have yet to meet very many people in the press who are really, truly interested in writing a good story or getting at the truth. Most press people, when they come into an article, have an angle that they want already, so they need points to support that angle, whatever the angle may be.

I would prefer to be well-liked in any and all situations.

I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why exactly.

Here's what the right-wing has in, there's no shortage of the natural resources of ignorance, apathy, hate, fear. As long as those things are in the collective conscious and unconscious, the Republicans will have some votes.

You can't have cinema by committee if you're trying to do it well.

The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

The term 'celebrity' makes my skin crawl.

Nobody ever starts out to make a mediocre, commercial film. You always think it's going to be something. And then, once you're done with your shooting, you have no control. You're just done, as an actor.

Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up.

My dream would be to be on a show that shoots in New York, because I live here, and then I could walk to work.