Top 81 Quotes & Sayings by Jonathan Ames

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American author Jonathan Ames.

Last updated on November 5, 2024.

Jonathan Ames is an American author who has written a number of novels and comic memoirs, and is the creator of two television series, Bored to Death (HBO) and Blunt Talk (STARZ). In the late '90s and early 2000s, he was a columnist for the New York Press for several years, and became known for self-deprecating tales of his sexual misadventures. He also has a long-time interest in boxing, appearing occasionally in the ring as "The Herring Wonder".

American - Author | Born: March 23, 1964

Source: Wikipedia

I grew up in northern New Jersey - the banlieue of New York - and I now live in Brooklyn. I am separated from my parents by about 50 miles, but really there is almost no distance between us. I speak to them nearly every day.

Jonathan Ames

Even when I was living below the poverty line as a novelist, I was still living better than 99.5% of the human population of the world. But in my little, soft realm of trying to amuse a few dozen middle-class people with my books and articles, I did struggle to survive in my own way.

Jonathan Ames

Having a show get canceled is like, 'Oh, you have caviar between your teeth,' you know what I mean? Because you had a show in the first place.

Jonathan Ames

As a child, I wanted to be an athlete, a professional tennis player or something like that.

Jonathan Ames

I drink coffee. Without coffee, I probably couldn't write.

Jonathan Ames

I've always liked police-blotter kind of writing, or the writing of a policeman, right to the point and hardboiled. That's how I see at least the prose elements of scriptwriting.

Jonathan Ames

I'm a somewhat isolated person in my own way, or I move along a little trail, I go this place, I go that place. It's not like I'm varying my exposure.

Jonathan Ames

I promote my own self-hatred.

Jonathan Ames

I'm actually much more shy and self-conscious than people's perception of me.

Jonathan Ames

The reason it's hard for me to tweet is I don't want to pronounce anything, and Twitter is for pronouncing.

Jonathan Ames

I didn't play or like a lot of board games as a child. I liked playing with my G.I. Joes and making up adventures for them.

Jonathan Ames

I don't really recognise success. I don't see myself as on an upwardly mobile trajectory. I see myself as on the edge of a cliff about to fall off.

Jonathan Ames

I am part of a vast generation of people who perpetually live as if they just graduated from college.

Jonathan Ames

I might have some sort of personality disorder. I might not have proper filters; it might be some kind of version of Asperger's meets Tourettes meets prose.

Jonathan Ames

I have very few hobbies. In fact, I have no hobbies.

Jonathan Ames

Something has happened where you almost never grow up in America. Maybe it's the greater wealth.

Jonathan Ames

I've really never written about my relationships, or things like that. I wouldn't want to divulge things that were too private.

Jonathan Ames

No, I'm not very productive at all. I'm probably like an animal. I mean, great animals in the ocean feed all the time. I'm someone who procrastinates, worries, for most of a month, and then I'll have a flurry of manic productivity with a sense of great urgency and fear for, like, two days.

Jonathan Ames

When I was in college, I had the good fortune to have Joyce Carol Oates as my writing teacher. She told me that I could take an aspect of myself, and from that one bit of personality, I can create a character. This is what I have done, particularly in my novels.

Jonathan Ames

There's no shortage of material in life.

Jonathan Ames

I don't know that I've gotten much feedback directly from the literary world; sometimes I doubt even the notion that there is a literary world, though I guess there is or was.

Jonathan Ames

Mostly I have to try to censor myself so as not to write things that will hurt other people, or that will go too far.

Jonathan Ames

I am always the source of the worst rumors about myself.

Jonathan Ames

I don't like to publicly acknowledge being a Jew.

Jonathan Ames

I wish I was the kind of writer who would go to a war zone and write about something that's meaningful and important to people, but that's not my area of coverage.

Jonathan Ames

Now, all writing - all the arts - are a form of 'Pay attention to me,' but there's also the flip side. Like, I want to give something. Let me entertain you, let me amuse you, let me try to please you with this thing I've made. And then pay attention to me.

Jonathan Ames

I don't mind being ridiculed - well, I guess I would mind a little, but it would only last a few minutes - it's all very ephemeral; it doesn't really matter what people think of me.

Jonathan Ames

It's hard for me to think of writing a novel, because it takes so long.

Jonathan Ames

To write about a place, you have to live there.

Jonathan Ames

For me, the past is dead. Can't go back.

Jonathan Ames

I don't laugh that much, but I do like humorous books, and I like to entertain readers that way.

Jonathan Ames

Twitter is so severe, you know? And it's completely for free, it's scattershot, and it's very easy to feel embarrassed. It's hard to be artful with it. It's like a ticker tape. It's not a forum that's worth mastering, you know?

Jonathan Ames

It's hard to leave New York: this is where my friends are, my parents are. It is so vital. The whole world seems to look to New York.

Jonathan Ames

A lot of writers, probably because they're sensitive, which makes them want to be writers, have fears about their masculinity, so they overcompensate by having an interest in boxing and tough-guy things.

Jonathan Ames

I don't have ADD, but I only like to pay attention to the things I like to pay attention to, and things like getting a TV and getting the cable working are beyond me, and so I let such things lapse, sometimes for years. This applies to keeping my apartment clean.

Jonathan Ames

For me, books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone. Perhaps if I was depressed and isolated, just communicating with these authors through their sentences helped me.

Jonathan Ames

I've always been inspired by Don Quixote as a role model of sorts, of the power of books to sort of make you insane in maybe a beautiful way.

Jonathan Ames

There are so many talented young writers named Jonathan, with whom by comparison I suffer terribly.

Jonathan Ames

I need to stay in the present and use that new-age mantra: 'I'm okay right now.' But I worry about all the things I'm failing at every moment.

Jonathan Ames

I don't like rides. I take everything in life quite literally, and so I genuinely feel terrified on rides and liable to vomit at any moment, and I hate to vomit even more than I fear rides.

Jonathan Ames

A lot of writing is a form of seeing - putting down what you see in terms of action and landscape.

Jonathan Ames

Whether I'm writing scripts or prose, the goal is identical. To give pleasure. Now whether I succeed or not is up for debate, and, mostly, I fail. But I try. I like to make things. It's a way to stay busy during one's ephemeral and confusing life.

Jonathan Ames

I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Reminds me of my childhood.

Jonathan Ames

People don't expect too much from literature. They just want to know they're not alone with being confused.

Jonathan Ames

The work changes the way your face changes and ages - it just does. Also, I have very little connection to anything I've written. I move on. We all move on

Jonathan Ames

I started puberty very late. I was nearly sixteen. And for complicated reasons this late arrival of my puberty caused me to stop playing competitive tennis. But before my puberty problem, I had trouble with my lower back and with my left testicle.

Jonathan Ames

I drink coffee. Without coffee, I probably couldnt write.

Jonathan Ames

I'm on the verge of a total breakdown. Sciatica. Taxes. Cars. Fleas, possibly. It's an absurd existence.

Jonathan Ames

Oh, God, I don't know what's more difficult, life or the English language.

Jonathan Ames

Whenever I wrote fiction, people always seemed to think that what I wrote was true, that it was entirely autobiographical. And when I would write non-fiction, they often accused me of exaggeration and fictionalization.

Jonathan Ames

How terrible to be alcoholic. You just want to quietly soothe and maybe poison yourself, but you end up poisoning those around you as well, like trying to commit suicide with a gas oven and unwittingly murdering your neighbors.

Jonathan Ames

Personally, I've never had it as a goal in life to be happy. Seems impossible to achieve. Even the Declaration of Independence seems to acknowledge this. They talk about the pursuit of happiness, not happiness itself.

Jonathan Ames

It was one of those days when every time I went to go out the door, something grabbed me in the back of the brain and said, lie down and masturbate one more time.

Jonathan Ames

I was aware that I was acting atrociously but I couldn't stop myself. Rarely had I behaved in such a manner. But I guess when we're feeling lonely in life, we attack those who actually do love us. It's one of the things that characterizes human nature and can be summed up in one word: FLAWED.

Jonathan Ames

I live for coincidences. They briefly give to me the illusion or the hope that there's a pattern to my life, and if there's a pattern, then maybe I'm moving toward some kind of destiny where it's all explained.

Jonathan Ames

I didn't think I was in a morbid mood, but it appears I am. My mind goes round and round trying to figure things out, but I always come back to the same two things: Loneliness and Death. Life ends before we figure anything out, most importantly how not to be lonely. Solitude is fine. But feeling like you have no one to love - abject lonliness - is not alright.

Jonathan Ames

Unfortunately, I'm one of those idiots who knows everything about health and is in a constant state of alarm, and yet I continue to do everything I shouldn't do.

Jonathan Ames

For me, books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone.

Jonathan Ames

I don't really know the person who wrote the things I wrote. I kind of know him, but I change so much all the time that it's like I start fresh over and over and over and over. Writing-wise and life-wise.

Jonathan Ames

I enjoy both TV writing and novel writing, and they are very similar. The goal is to entertain and amuse the audience, and I subscribe to this P.G. Wodehouse piece of advice: "Try to give pleasure with every sentence."

Jonathan Ames

Top 81 Quotes & Sayings by Jonathan Ames

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