Top 1200 Comedy Clubs Quotes & Sayings

I just realized at a certain point that no matter how much writing I did, I'm still a gym rat for comedy clubs.

Go to humorous events at comedy clubs and watch laughable movies.

On a practical level, I'm uncomfortable at comedy clubs because there are so many shitty dude comics who have made my life miserable. If I go to a comedy club and I look around, I don't know which of the dudes lining the wall told me that I was too fat to get raped. It makes me nauseous. But that was a couple years ago, and meanwhile, comedy has changed a lot.

I will do comedy until the day I die: inappropriate comedy, funny comedy, gender-bending, twisting comedy, whatever comedy is out there.

Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That's where anything goes.

The problem with a lot of comedy clubs is not that they are a comedy club; it's just the cheesy way they're presenting themselves. That's why a lot of people have a problem with them. If you're a relatively unknown comedian, you can play at a comedy club, you might play to hundreds of people every night. But if you try to make a concert event out of it, and try to play a rock club or something, where you might play to 10 people or no people. And the flipside of that is, that's also a great thing, to play to people who are your fans. Some people are too hard on the comedy clubs.

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

You start in bars and then restaurants, then you want to get into comedy clubs where you feature, then you headline, and once you sell out clubs you're into theaters. I've been able to get there, and it's cool to do that.

I came to Vegas because I wanted to, not because I thought it could help my career. I didn't even know they had comedy clubs here.

I knew I wanted to be in comedy but the path of least resistance was doing stand-up in folk music clubs where I could get on stage. I guess you could get up no matter how bad you were and you didn't have to audition. You just got up. Everything else required an audition and if you auditioned for a TV show, you would stand in line with a hundred other people. But at the clubs, it was okay just to get up, so that's why I started in stand-up.

Jose has managed at some big, big clubs, and at all of those clubs, there is pressure, it comes with the territory. But he has a wonderful way of dealing with that pressure, and when you manage these sorts of clubs, you've got to be used to that.

Over the years, I managed to develop this comedy career, went from opening act to headliner at comedy clubs, to playing concert halls, and had an off-Broadway show with 'Sleepwalk With Me.'

Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.

'Something Borrowed' is looking like a romantic comedy, but it's a comedy. It shines as a comedy; it's definitely not just about the romance. It's an honest depiction of the struggle between the characters. The comedy aspect will make it shine.

For a while I was a completely unknown artist with no fan base and no draw in the clubs. The only people that would give me a shot were the gay clubs. Gay clubs were so open to me coming in and trying things out.

I've never gone to comedy clubs.

I think there is more comedians now than ever, more venues now than ever. There are stand-ups who live in towns where they don't have many comedy clubs where they are organizing more comedy nights in bars. I just think this is a fantastic time for stand up.

I was always the guy who made jokes and ribbed people at parties. After I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts I got sidetracked into clubs and started doing comedy.

I've gone to normal clubs, straight clubs, and I've gone to gay clubs to party with my friends and fans. There's no difference. I have nothing to prove. I'm very comfortable in my own skin, and I'm thankful to have as many close gay friends as I have, people who have been so supportive in my life and have always been there for me.

The thing that still exists is that if it's at all possible for me to step outside the club after the show, because I still haven't encountered any comedy clubs that - legally they can't have weed smoking and alcohol at the same facility, pretty much in all the states that have legalized, that's part of the deal. And, unfortunately, comedy clubs make all their money from the selling alcohol part of it. So, since there are no venues I can smoke with the fans in, I step outside and pretty much every show I do there are some people out there and we have a nice little session.

Comedy clubs have brick walls behind the performer. Bricks make you funny. When I'm in front of a fireplace, I'm hilarious.

A lot of comedy clubs are set up with people sitting at little tables and you have everything from the way they are seated to them ordering or taking a sip of a drink, these can make a comedian go harder and faster in a club.

Comedy clubs were something that came to pass in the '80s, but toward the end of that, in the early '90s, people started doing comedy again in alternative spaces.

At first, there was a separation of clubs and sketch comedy. Now there's all kinds of comedy, making us one big happy family.

It used to be that in comedy you had to play the clubs and work your way up, but now, before you do the clubs, you can put something up on the Internet. It's public access times a million.

What they call 'alt-comedy' now is basically what comedy was like in the '80s. People tried different things, and everybody went to the clubs; there was no other place. Then somehow, the clubs became infiltrated by Dice Clay and Carrot Top types.

People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right.

I LOVE THE COMEDY CLUBS AND THE CLOSENESS OF THE CROWD. HOWEVER THE MORE YA DO THE BIG ROOMS THEY START TO BECOME YOUR HOME AS WELL AND YOU ADJUST TO THE SURROUNDINGS. I LOVE THEM BOTH. I MISS THE CLUBS BUT THATS WHAT YA WORK FOR TO DO THE BIG ROOMS!

Comedy clubs sharpen a comic, they're like the gym for us, making us stronger, faster, funnier. Without them every comedy show would feel like a monologue.

It's true there were a lot of clubs interested in me - I had talks with some of the biggest clubs in Europe.

I know that a lot of German clubs are unhappy with the Premier League clubs' spending, but I think it is something good for all clubs in the end.

My CD, my first release, was at the Comedy Works in Denver, one of the best clubs in the country.

I would say about 90 per cent of drunken idiots in comedy clubs wear ties, particularly in London where I work most of the time.

How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs.

Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who you are.

Rich clubs, where money doesn't matter... such clubs don't interest me.

Credit to all the clubs, if there are incidents anywhere I think the clubs are very quickly on that and are banning supporters who are making racial comments. I think clubs are very much on top of what they see.

Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you're first coming up and I think that's good for you. Eventually you get to express your real personality.

I'm a nightclub comic. That's what I do. I work in the clubs uncensored because my mind is uncensored, and those are the thoughts that I have. I do the kind of comedy that I would enjoy seeing.

I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.

I started out in clubs, and I've always liked clubs. I like theaters because people are there for the show.

I did a few mainstream clubs in Birmingham when I started out. Racist comedy was absolutely the norm. Every act was doing it and when blokes talked about their wives or women in any way it was always derogatory.

The managers are getting paid very well by their respective clubs to do a job for their clubs not the country they are working in.

I would love to be able to play anywhere, but to me the sweet spot is clubs and theaters, just because I feel like you lean in to tell a joke. You don't back up. Comedy lives in that area. I've played amphitheaters, big clubs, and pool halls, and the most fun rooms hold anywhere from 500 to 2,000 people. That intimacy is where comedy really lives.

From 1987 to 1992, I was on the road for 40 weeks a year playing comedy clubs, and that was during the 'comedy boom.'

My intent when I moved to L.A. was to get in good with the comedy clubs and, eventually, try to break into Comedy Central and have my half hour special.

Maybe 10 times a year I'll do a corporate date, but no casinos or no nightclubs or no comedy clubs.

Man's inhumanity toward man is astounding, and I'm just talking about the lineup at certain comedy clubs.

I used to see Jim [Carrey] in comedy clubs and tell him 'This isn't going to get you anywhere. What you're good at is that nice Jimmy Stewart stuff.' Thank God he never listened.

I'd say a lot of black comics were forced to do the black comedy circuit. I'd go into black comedy clubs and see what they're going through, which is different because they're almost made to be in another world.

Of all the awards, the Stand-up Comic Audience Award is our favorite. It is a chance to honor the performers who spend much of their careers developing their craft and working in the comedy clubs all over America.

I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.

I don't go to comedy clubs unless I'm working. And when I do work, I come in, I do my time and I leave. I don't hang out.

Comedy clubs are arguably one of the last bastions of uncensored, public free speech.

Nothing against comedy clubs, they work. But when you're sitting with a tablecloth and a candle and an appetizer menu, three-drink minimum, it can feel more like a dinner theater than a live experience.

Even though I have fond feelings for comedy clubs, I enjoy the focus you get in a theater. Comedy clubs are a different animal. People are being served nachos and there's a blender going off in the background.

As the weeks went on, I realized there was an important role comedy would play in healing the tragedies of September 11. Comedy can help people cope, and many people were coming to the clubs to laugh out the stress.

I managed lots of clubs. I had more clubs than Jack Nicholson

Homophobia is a tough one. In some places it's actually very OK to be homophobic. Comedy clubs in general are very unsafe spaces for LGBT, for women, for Asian people. So my goal in comedy has sort of been to make this a safe space for people who were like me.

I came to London with a girl. We lived together and split up very quickly. I was on my own in London so started going to comedy clubs.