Top 1200 Practical Joke Quotes & Sayings - Page 2

A comic strip has a rhythm and a pattern, and you got to get in and out quick. So you set up a joke, tell the joke, and done.

Every joke is an experiment. When you sit, alone, and write a script, or just a joke, you really have no idea if it will succeed.

Living is a pretty grim joke, but a joke just the same.

Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.

Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.

When I make a joke, nobody gets injured... when Congress makes a joke, it's the law.

Ah, Signor Halt,' he said uncertainly, 'you are making a joke, yes?' 'He is making a joke, no,' Will said. 'But he likes to think he is making a joke, yes.

The first joke I ever told on stage was a golf joke.

There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That's why it's a joke.

It is almost a joke, but a joke that nobody tells.

A lot of comedies fall apart because they just go from joke to joke, and the characters are all sort of being crazy off on their own.

You learn what can become a good joke and can be repeatable. You have a shorthand about how to introduce a joke to someone.

The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I'm not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.

Throughout history, people have studied pure science from a desire to understand the universe rather than practical applications for commercial gain. But their discoveries later turned out to have great practical benefits.

There cannot be a greater mistake than that of looking superciliously upon practical applications of science. The life and soul of science is its practical application.

Men love a joke - on the other fellow. But your really humorous woman loves a joke on herself.

Magicians are definitely more arrogant. They're kind of like "Abra Kadabra, you're an idiot," they don't let you in on the joke. Comedians, you're always in on the joke unless it's Andy Kaufman.

A joke isn't a joke until someone laughs.

A satirist is someone who has a very skeptical view of human nature, but who still has the optimism to make some sort of a joke out of it. However brutal that joke might be.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.

Phronimos, possessing practical wisdom . But the only virtue special to a ruler is practical wisdom; all the others must be possessed, so it seems, both by rulers and ruled. The virtue of a person being ruled is not practical wisdom but correct opinion; he is rather like a person who makes the pipes, while the ruler is the one who can play them.

Portland hardly got to have an identity before that identity became a joke - I live in a joke. Seattle at least got to wear out its identity before it became a joke.

There's different kinds of improv. There's Second City improv where you try to slowly build a nice sketch. There's stuff you do in college coffee houses where you just go joke, joke, joke. Bring another funny character with a funny hat on his head. Christopher Guest is more the line of trying to get a story out.

Jefferson's Declaration of Independence is a practical document for the use of practical men. It is not a thesis for philosophers, but a whip for tyrants; it is not a theory of government but a program of action.

I don't really tell a joke per se, I build up an attitude and it becomes a joke.

The way I was brought up, there was a little bit of prodding to do something more practical, and I wasted a lot of time trying to be a practical person.

Let's hit the joke once and move on to the next joke and just keep it where we have as many jokes per square inch as possible.

The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.

Poetry is like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you've lost the whole thing.

My life motto is basically to lower your standards and expectations so you're never disappointed and never put any trust in anything, and I try to prepare for the day that I wake up, and everyone I know is like, 'LOL JK best long-running practical joke ever', so I've never really let myself freak out or get too excited about anything.

Is that a joke? Please tell me you're joking. -Sophie I never joke about carnivorous bunnies. -Luca

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.

And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle - Flint alongside her - poke him in the eye, Angelina - it was a joke, professor, it was a joke.

It's hard to make a joke out of someone that's a joke.

Always warm up the audience with a joke....If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke.

I joke, but I only half joke, that if you come to one of our hospitals missing a limb, no one will believe you till they get a CAT scan, MRI, or orthopedic consult.

Living in America has made me more practical. And, at the same time, exactly the opposite, because I'm very open to different ways of being and seeing that are completely not practical.

When I was working with Barry Sonnenfeld, I'd watch him set up a shot and talk to him about what he was seeing and what it was to shoot comedy. He told me that a lot of times with comedy, it's not just about getting the joke, but getting a reaction to the joke. That's the laugh - it's somebody's else's reaction to the joke.

Don't be 'practical' in politics. To be practical in that sense means that you have schooled yourself to think along the lines, and in the grooves that those who rob you would desire you to think.

I'm not opposed to doing science fiction or comedy, but there has to be respect. I refuse to be the joke, the fat woman joke, in any movie. I've turned down roles.

You can crack a joke and make a person smile but it matters a lot when that's on screen. It can be a very nice joke but if you shoot it badly or the actor gets the timing wrong, it won't be funny.

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

I'm making fun of midwestern homophobia [in the joke], but I'm still saying faggot. And almost every month as I'm doing that joke it gets five percent less of a laugh.

People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.

For me, cooking is practical. That's the core of an engineer. Engineers are very practical designers and creative people. Every single thing I create has to have a purpose.

I think Trump is terrible for comedy. A lot of people say he is great. He's not. You can't joke a joke.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

If there's an intelligence behind the joke - - it's a good joke.

Matter of fact, the way we got a path, a great friend, Arlen Specter, I convinced him to switch parties. Not a joke. Not a joke. He was the deciding vote.

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

I believe it is tough to be funny and tougher to make people laugh. And it needs to be been done effortlessly. A joke can be comedy, but one can kill the joke if it is delivered badly.

There's a joke in everything, the trick is finding it. The best compliment a joke can get is what Huxley said about Darwin's theory of evolution - 'Why didn't I think of that?'

I would like to see a lot of people more involved in practical solutions to practical problems. Women have got to the point where we can turn the world upside down.

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

At bottom, to be colored means that one has been caught in some utterly unbelievable cosmic joke, a joke so hideous and in such bad taste that it defeats all categories and definitions.

I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she's laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

Lucasfilm called me out of the blue, and I almost hung up because I thought it was a practical joke. This was right before 'Revenge Of The Sith' came out. Here you are, a big 'Star Wars' fan, talking about 'Star Wars' all the time, and you have your master replica lightsaber, and then you get a call from Lucasfilm for a job?

Usually my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.

My father, the practical joker, did not care for practical jokes on himself; he did not encourage the practice in me.