Top 539 Toilet Quotes & Sayings - Page 2

It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.

I'd rather clean my toilet than go to a show-business party.

I'm a little thirsty, can I go drink out of your toilet?

If there's anything I love after my wife and my kids, it's my toilet. I am king there.

Here in the Netherlands there are towns that take part in the throwing of toilet bowls for a laugh.

You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.

I told CBS, 'My career is going down the toilet, and you're pulling the chain.'

I will go to the Opening of Anything, including a Toilet Seat

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

In politics, you're like a toilet seat: you're up one day and down the next.

I've done every series that had gone down the toilet.

If you're embarking around the world in a hot-air balloon, don't forget the toilet paper.

As with marathon runs and lengths of toilet paper, there had to be standards to measure up to.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

The only reason I'd bring a Bible out here is if I needed toilet paper.

One time I tried to use the bathroom in the dark, and I missed the toilet, and I fell on the floor.

With what hope can we endeavor to persuade the ladies that the time spent at the toilet is lost in vanity.

Most of the time he [Marlon Brando] sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper.

I've got four kids - I unblock a toilet every day.

You might be a redneck if you've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

I wouldn't go in a fast food outlet even to use the toilet.

The wide screen reminds me of a roll of toilet paper.

Not to go to the theater is like making one's toilet without a mirror.

I wrote my first book in a toilet in a factory where I was a floor sweeper.

No one goes to the toilet in novels. You'd think none of us had bladders.

There's nothing special about losing your virginity over a toilet.

I loved being in Trainspotting and having to dive into the filthiest toilet in Scotland.

From the stage I've seen people of all ages absolutely roaring at really good toilet humour.

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.

I can't see myself ever spending hundreds of thousands on anything that doesn't come with a toilet.

People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

If a life goes down the toilet, it comes out in a river and meets the sea.

I've fixed the toilet. And I've been crawling in claustrophobic places... you have to deal with that when you become a homeowner.

France is the country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

The most work he did on [the urinals] was to run a brush once or twice apiece, singing some song as loud as he could in time to the swishing brush; then he'd splash in some Clorox and he'd be through. ... And when the Big Nurse...came in to check McMurphy's cleaning assignment personally, she brought a little compact mirror and she held it under the rim of the bowls. She walked along shaking her head and saying, "Why, this is an outrage... an outrage..." at every bowl. McMurphy sidled right along beside her, winking down his nose and saying in answer, "No; that's a toilet bowl...a TOILET bowl.

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet.

Literature has nothing to do with usefulness; the most useful place in any house is the toilet.

The winner of the Westminster Dog Show gets to drink champagne - out of the toilet.

[Americans] can't understand that the water in our toilet is cleaner than 880 million have access to.

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Sounds to me like he's on the toilet.

Are you really going to let a toilet stand in the way of you and financial independence?

I'm probably more famous for sitting on the toilet than for anything else that I do.

Success is like toilet paper, it only seems important when you don't have it.

We buy our own toilet paper even here in the White House.

I can tell you, going out to buy toilet paper in the U.S. is a completely predictable experience.

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

The only thing I use the Rolling Stone for is toilet paper when I run out.

My dad used to flush my mother's head down the toilet. I was so screwed up.

There comes a time in every man's life when he needs his own toilet.

So it just wasn't in my house. Anywhere, I looked like I knew about the toilet.

For some reason, the only Swedish I know how to say is, 'There is no toilet paper.'

Sooner or later, all magazines end up in the toilet.

Hate American toilets with only toilet paper and no bidets.

I never settled because I wasn't meant to pack toilet rolls or stack shelves.

My biggest fear is the ocean. It's a great big, powerful sea toilet.

She cleans a toilet inside and out under a minute. More like terrifying