A Quote by Cristela Alonzo

The chances of anyone of any race getting their own show are, like, .001 percent. — © Cristela Alonzo
The chances of anyone of any race getting their own show are, like, .001 percent.
After 40, your chances of getting pregnant are between two and eight percent, and in my particular case, they were less than five percent.
The show is probably 60 percent improvising and 40 percent not. So there's quite a bit of it that we do have prepared and that part of it, you have memorized and you've rehearsed and you're prepared, just like any show.
I don't know anyone who's 100 percent pure - nor do I have any interest in portraying anyone like that.
If anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single spiritual person who has been able to show either empirically or logically the existence of a higher power with any consciousness or interest in the human race or ability to punish or reward humans for their moral choices or that there is any reason other than fear to believe in any version of an afterlife, I will give you my piano, one of my legs and my wife.
Getting along with the gang in one place is not any harder than getting along in another. It depends about 98 percent on your own behavior.
When I was younger, I definitely had more of a dream, as they say on 'American Idol,' that I would have my own show. I always thought that that was something that would happen, that eventually I would just get my own show because anyone who wants their own show should get their own show.
When you introduce a character and show him for the first time, don't show him fully lit. Don't show him one hundred percent to the audience. Show maybe fifty percent or sixty percent so the audience can fill in the dark spots.
I raised you to be a thoroughbred. When thoroughbreds run, they wear blinders to keep their eyes focused straight ahead with no distractions, no other horses. They hear the crowd, but they don’t listen. They just run their own race. That’s what you have to do. Don’t listen to anyone comparing you to me or to anyone else. You just run your own race.
Like, if you are a celebrity, then anyone will let you be in a film or on a TV show, and if you're an actor, chances are if you are successful, you are becoming a celebrity.
In 10000 BC, all human beings were hunter-gatherers; by 1500 AD, 1 percent were hunter-gatherers. Less than .001 percent of people are hunter-gatherers today.
With the last couple of Pantera records, we kept getting more and more narrow-minded because of Phil. He didn't want to experiment or take any chances, and it was like being in a tube that was getting to be so small you couldn't even breathe. Personally, I think the dude was afraid of success.
A show like 'Orange Is the New Black' has every race and ethnicity - and you don't even have to depend on four networks any more. You can go to Amazon or Netflix and be in an award-winning show.
Divorce is contagious. That's right - when you have a close couple friend split up, it increases your chances of getting a divorce by 75 percent.
Anyone who is dealing with any issue or any illness whatsoever, without a support network, chances are the person will not survive.
There's a reason why every successful person in Hollywood has like seven or eight projects up in the air at any point. It's like a 90 percent chance for each project that it'll never happen. Every project has about a 10 percent chance of getting made, unless you're like a Quentin Tarantino or somebody who just gets whatever they want to get done. But those are the rare cases.
And watching Ed, he's really coming into his own doing some new things onstage I've never seen him do. He's really getting into it, putting 120 percent into the show. We feel comfortable and excited.
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