A Quote by Dan Schneider

I'm never going to write fart jokes, because I feel like I have a responsibility to the audience to give them good stuff. I should be able to come up with something funnier than any third-grade boy could think of.

Dan Schneider

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Able Any Audience Because Boy Come Come Up Could Fart Feel Funnier Give Going Good Grade Jokes Like Never Responsibility Should Something Stuff Than Them Think Third Up Write

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Dan Schneider

I do not choose my listeners. What I mean is, I never write for my listeners. I think about my audience, but I am not writing for them. I have something to tell them, but the audience must also put a certain effort into it. But I never wrote for an audience and never will write for one, because you have to give the listener something and he has to make an effort in order to understand certain things.

Henryk Gorecki

The biggest piece of advice I would give to other women and girls is that it's really hard, and I feel like we're promised in like these phrases like, "Never give up," and stuff like that, it's going to be easier if you just listen to them. In my experience, and I think the experience of my friends and other women around me, it's a lot - you have to do a lot for yourself because the world isn't as friendly to women and girls as it should be, and it's not as helpful as it should be.

Rowan Blanchard

I do write a lot of stuff for my tours. I think I just want to give people their money's worth. They've paid to come and see jokes so I try to give them as many as I can.

Lee Mack

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

Demetri Martin

I don't ever like to feel myself in the position to demand of an actor that they trust I'm going to do something worthwhile. I feel a responsibility to articulate what it is I'm going to do. Whether that's showing them a full script or sitting down with them and describing my ideas in detail. It's a very healthy burden on me as a film director to be able to articulate what I want to do, to inspire actors, rather than just saying, take it on trust I'll be able to do something worthwhile.

Christopher Nolan

The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.

Andy Samberg

I almost never write because I want something from my audience. Almost everything I've ever written, I've written because I feel like I have to write this or I'll die. Like, this has to come out of me.

Zoe Kazan

I write in reverse: Rather than come up with a narrative and write jokes for that narrative, I write jokes independently of the narrative, then I try to fit them in.

Jeff Kinney

I never wanted there to be any moment in my movies when something would happen and the audience would cheer, like sometimes that happens in certain types of horror movies. I was never a fan of that, I wasn't looking for 'inventive' kills and I even hate that word because it's like, if you have these characters screaming or crying in pain I don't think anyone should be jumping out of their seat cheering. It should be horrible and you should feel sick watching it because that's what it is, sick.

Rob Zombie

I've told Michael Jackson jokes. If you got really technical, you could say those are jokes about child molestation. You could, if you got technical. A lot of this is just selective outrage because honestly, the audience are the ones that tell us that something shouldn't be spoken. The audience lets us know. And I've never, in my almost 30 years of being a comedian, seen a comedian continue to tell a joke that the audience doesn't respond to. I've never seen it.

Chris Rock

If you write, good ideas must come welling up into you so that you have something to write. If good ideas do not come at once, or for a long time, do not be troubled at all. Wait for them. Put down little ideas no matter how insignificant they are. But do not feel, any more, guilty about idleness and solitude.

Brenda Ueland

This is going to sound pretentious, but I like comedy that addresses something I find either worrisome or interesting in my life. I like Louis C.K.'s stuff or Bill Burr's stuff. I feel like there's comedy where someone will think of something that they think will work comedically, and then they reverse engineer that point of view so they can say that funny thing. The comedians I like, it could be an allusion, but it feels like their point of view comes first and then the jokes are a reflection of what they actually believe, or are frightened of, or are curious about, or are interested in.

Zach Woods

I always wanted to be a character actor rather than the poster boy that they tried to make me 100 years ago. An actor has a degree of responsibility to change for the audience, to give them something new each time, to surprise and not bore them.

Johnny Depp

I like Babyface, but he keeps the good stuff for himself. If he's willing to give his good stuff to me, we'll talk. But it can't be any of his B-grade stuff.

Natalie Cole

I don't feel any kind of a responsibility (other than to myself) to write "weighty" lyrics. In fact I sometimes wish I could learn to write in a simpler form, to be more direct and I'm going to be experimenting with this.

Stuart Adamson

I think my one of my strengths in standup is my ability to adlib. I do all my best writing on stage. I can sit down and write jokes, but I'd rather go on stage with a premise or an idea and let the jokes come that way. My creative juices are never flowing any better than when I'm onstage.

Henry Cho

A Quote by Dan Schneider

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