A Quote by Dave Attell

If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche.

Dave Attell

Quote Topics

Baby Baby Jesus Buy First Her Jesus Like Little Look Off Pants Porsche Reaction Take Time Your

Quote Author

Dave Attell
American - Comedian
Born: January 18, 1965

I love my family but my family - they're the type of people that never let you forget anything you ever did... I was in the first grade Christmas play - I'm playing Mary. Now, during the course of the play, I dropped the baby Jesus... They still talk about this. I go to my family reunion, and one of my cousins just had a baby. So I'm like, 'Oh, that's a cute little baby. Let me hold the baby...' And my aunt runs over, 'Don't you give her that baby! You know she dropped the baby Jesus!'

Wanda Sykes

I didn't buy the Porsche for status. I hate that, and it's actually kind of goofy now because in L.A., a Porsche is like a Honda. It was just that I could pay that much money for a car and drive it off the lot.

Sophia Amoruso

A Porsche will always look like a Porsche. My grandfather took these shapes from nature, so the head lamps of the 911 maybe look a little like the eyes of a frog, but it comes from nature, and the best shapes are from nature, so why change?

Ferdinand Alexander Porsche

It's like a mother, when the baby is crying, she picks up the baby and she holds the baby tenderly in her arms. Your pain, your anxiety is your baby. You have to take care of it. You have to go back to yourself, to recognize the suffering in you, embrace the suffering, and you get a relief.

Nhat Hanh

People who care about celebrity babies are creepy. What will her baby look like?! A baby. Youve seen a baby right? Itll look like that.

Anna Kendrick

To me, the model example of how to share your faith is Jesus with the woman at the well in John 4. He was patient with her. He took time for her. To some degree, she was kind of disrespectful to Him at first, initially kind of blowing off what he said and blowing off what he was saying to her. But then, as it continued on, she began to understand and ultimately believed.

Greg Laurie

There's something that just happens to you when you have a baby, and you look at their little eyes for the first time when you're holding them. They've been safe inside your belly for almost 10 months, and now they're in your arms. Intuition kicks in, where you will do anything for them and you have all the tools inside of you to take care of them.

Hilary Duff

As one does with a first child, I found out that my baby could roll by hearing the sound of her body hit the ground at 4 a.m. and obviously, for any new parent, that is the most horrifying thing that could happen, right? You're exhausted and you take your tiny little baby out and you put them on the bed to change diapers before nursing and you turn around and you discover... my baby can roll! And you think you're going to die.

Uma Thurman

The baby, a girl, is born at 6:24 a.m. She weighs six pounds, ten ounces. The mother takes the baby in her arms and asks her, "Who are you, my little one?" And in response, this baby, who is Liz and not Liz at the same time, laughs.

Gabrielle Zevin

It completely sickens me what our culture is doing to women. Last week I wore a big top and little shorts and a bunch of stuff came out saying I was without pants. 'The No-Pants Look,' it said. And I didn't go out without pants, I had shorts on... If Olivia Wilde had gone to a party with a big silky top and little shorts she might have been told her outfit was cute... What it was really: 'Why did you show us your thighs?'

Lena Dunham

I eat vegetarian a lot. I buy only fresh ingredients and cook from scratch - that way, when I feel like snacking and look in my fridge, it's: 'Oh, baby carrots or chocolate soy pudding. Take your pick.'

Nadia Giosia

I can remember when I was 24, and I broke up with my first serious girlfriend for the first time. She was a very nice person, but she had a little bit of a tendency toward melodrama... Her response was to take the key to my apartment off of her key chain and hand it back to me.

Kenneth Lonergan

Please don't wait until the doctors tell you that you are going to have a baby to begin to take care of it. It is already there. Whatever you are, whatever you do, your baby will get it. Anything you eat, any worries that are on your mind will be for him or her. Can you tell me that you cannot smile? Think of the baby, and smile for him, for her, for the future generations. Please don't tell me that a smile and your sorrow just don't go together. It's your sorrow, but what about your baby? It's not his sorrow, its not her sorrow.

Nhat Hanh

Like a girl, a baby running after her mother, begging to be picked up, and she tugs on her skirts, holding her back as she tries to hurry off—all tears, fawning up at her, till she takes her in her arms… That’s how you look, Patroclus, streaming live tears.