A Quote by Dave Barry

Directors are always changing things at the last minute. Actors will do a scene, and the director will say, ‘Okay, that was perfect, but this time, Bob, instead of saying “What’s for dinner?” you say, “Wait a minute! Benzene is actually a hydrocarbon!” And say it with a Norwegian accent. Also, we think maybe your character should have no arms.
I always say that you don't have to like 'The Room', but you will discover something - maybe a tiny little thing - and say, 'Wait a minute, maybe I want to see more.'
If someone's performance is down we do not say, 'Hey pick up your things here.' We do not yell and scream at them, we say, 'Are you okay?' The idea of putting our financials goal aside for one minute to express empathy for the human being for that work and saying, 'Are you okay?' That is part of the sacrifice.
Very rarely have I worked with a director where we've been at odds. And by the time you've actually talked to somebody and you have the job, there's something that they see in you that they want you to bring to the character. And the best director says very little to you, acting-wise. They usually just say, "Okay, here's the shot." It's their job to do all that stuff, and your job's to do the acting. So it's very rare that somebody will say, "Oh, no. I conceived this very differently".
I had written eight drafts of the Lemony Snicket' screenplay when this changing-of-the-guard thing happened, and I said to the new producers, "I don't think I could write any more drafts." I guess I was sort of hoping they would say, "Well that's okay, this last one is perfect." But instead, they said, "It's funny you should say that. We don't think you can write any more drafts either."
If something touches me, I cry. That's it. I'm a bit raw, a bit rubbish, really. Often, a director will say to me, 'I don't think this is a scene where your character cries.' And all I can say is, good luck with that!
My mom's last name is Bob. My dad's last name is Waksberg. Every time I try to get a ticket at will call, they say last name. And I say, Bob-Waksberg. And I see them looking under W. I go, no, Bob-Waksberg. And they go, no, last name. And I go no, my last name is Bob-Waksberg.
I want to buy pizza, but my players don't want pizza; maybe they don't love pizza. Because I said when we make a clean sheet, I will buy everybody a pizza. Maybe they wait until I say, 'Okay, a good dinner.' I told them, the clean sheet, I buy everybody a pizza. I think they wait until I improve my offer: 'Okay, a pizza and a hot dog.'
I would say that maybe directors who act as well are easier with actors. I'm not saying that all directors have this, but sometimes you'll come across a director who sort of looks at an actor a bit like a kind of untrained horse that's been let out of the stable, like they might buck him.
I guess I would say, it's okay to put things off until the very last minute as long as you know you've got them under control.
You say you should have died instead of me. But during my time on earth, people died instead of me, too. It happens every day. When lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. When your colleague falls ill and you do not. We think such things are random. But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole.
It's very bizarre though when you get hired and then the director will say, "I know how this goes." And you're thinking, "Wait a minute, I thought that I was doing this" but basically what they really want, especially if they wrote it, is they want you to do it as they imagined it. It's virtually impossible.
I will say from the outset, I think if you're great, you're great from the very beginning. And because I do think it is innate and I do think it is a gift you just have, and I don't think you can - you can hone the skills of a director, but sadly, I do think that you are born a great director. I think it's just in you and it's something that is deep in you. But, I find it can be difficult working with first-time directors, but it's also moving.
I'll find myself having dinner with people and someone will mention something and I will say I was in that situation once. Then I'll say, forget it, it was a scene I was in. That can get to be quite confusing.
One minute you're closer to someone than anyone in the whole world, next minute they need only to say the words 'time apart', 'serious talk' or 'maybe you...' and you're never going to see them again and will have to spend the next six months having imaginary conversations in which they beg to come back, and bursting into tears at the sight of their toothbrush.
People say you're trapped in this genre. You're a horror guy. I say wait a minute - I'm able to say exactly what I think. I'm able to talk about, comment about, take snapshots of what's going on at the time. I don't feel trapped. I feel like this is my way of being able to express myself.
There's no such thing as an actor giving positive criticism to a director. The minute you say 'Don't you think it would look nicer', that director's going to hate your guts. Particularly if it's a good idea.
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