When it grows dark, we always need someone. This thought, the product of anxiety, only comes to me in the evenings, just when I'm about to end my writerly explorations.
I always knew I'd be leaving government someday. I just didn't know when. There was something about knowing that it was temporary that left me in writerly observational mode.
For me, 'Dark Souls III' is the end, but that doesn't mean the end for 'Dark Souls.' If someone other than myself, like another staff member, wants to make a 'Dark Souls,' then I don't want to deny others from making future installments.
In Seattle, I soon found that my radical ideas and aesthetic explorations - ideas and explorations that in Richmond, Virginia, might have gotten me stoned to death with hush puppies - were not only accepted but occasionally applauded.
I really want to do a dark character. Not really a bad guy, but someone dark and mysterious. Where everyone says, 'Ooh, it has to be her!' and at the end you find out it isn't. Just someone who looks guilty.
People say when you're in love, you don't need etiquette. Well, you need it then more than anything. Or they say, "At home I can just be myself." What they mean is they can be their worst selves... They always mean they will save all their anxiety about how to behave for somebody like the head waiter of a restaurant, someone they'll never see again.
Anxiety is so pervasive in my work, it's like it's not even a thing because it's always there. Like air. I have to work through a layer of anxiety to get to anything else. It's embarrassing to me when people point out to me all the anxiety I portray in my work. I don't ever want to write about anxiety again but it'd be like leaving a huge gap in the picture.
I just started writing stuff to kill time on summer evenings. This is why I'm always telling people who ask me what they need to do to succeed to give up, do something else.
I grew up in Harlem Grant projects, and I didn't have a whole lot then. I've always been good about only getting what I need, not what I want. Just because someone else has something, I don't feel the need to.
When I was young, I wanted to find the Great Dark Man. When I said that I realise now that people thought that by 'dark' I meant black, and that by 'great' I meant big. Whereas I only meant a strong, mysterious person; someone who would 'take me away from all this.'
Now that I think about it, my 40th birthday was the most anxiety I've ever had, and my wedding was also the second time I've had that much anxiety. So I'm starting to realize that I can't be throwing these big bash parties because I need to own that I get anxiety with a lot of people diverting their attention to me.
When recording, whatever you first think about, you come out with something totally different at the end of it. Whatever plans you have you throw away, because it's always going to end up sounding pretty different from what you initially thought of. I probably only had about five or six songs when I started, and it just sort of flowed from that.
When people ask me what my dream role would be, I tell them that it's to play someone very dark. Very dark - like someone involved in the drug world or some other criminal venture. Maybe someone who's delusional or not all there or just not well. I really hope I can do that one day.
I will end up with someone in the arts. I am positive. I eat, breathe and sleep acting. And I'll end up with someone who is happy staying at home and having me cook supper. But I also really need to be intellectually challenged and stimulated. I want someone bookish, and someone who is passionate.
I don't listen to my songs. The only time I do it is when someone points out a flaw in the end product.
There are a lot of explorations on TV of romantic relationships, and some are good and some are bad. I think there are very few explorations of male friendship that' s not just a wingman type friendship and not just an opportunity for humor, but that really explores two friends and their relationship.
The creative process is often wrapped up in bottomless anxiety, and when the world applauds the product of that process, it soothes the anxiety. Briefly. Then the anxiety returns and even intensifies.