Football was a natural thing for me, and with no injuries or injury history that would stop me from training, I just enjoyed coming in every day and playing; then it was taken away from me.
Especially in this business of football you got to get on your knees multiple times a day, just thanking God. I pray while I'm on the field because He has to be with me. One injury away from being done from playing football for the rest of my life or just that fast it can happen. So I just always got to pray for that covering. Make sure He's with me out there making plays with me. God wants to be involved in everything that you do. And I just try to involve Him. And that's what God said to do, to help build up His kingdom.
I was just at a point where waking up every day was a struggle. Coming out of every training session and wanting to cry, and having no confidence, not believing in myself and it's kind of this vicious cycle of focusing on all these things that I couldn't control and it was just eating away at me and pulling me down and I just wasn't happy anymore.
The best thing about football for me is the reacting. It's a lot of instincts. But training, for me, it's more for the meditating. And I spend more time training than actually playing football. So I get into that zone during training more than anything.
I would play until my mum called me. I would just stay out playing football, every day.
There are only two things that probably can stop me from playing - rapture, God coming back, and an ACL injury.
incessant adj. The doubts. You had to save me from my constant doubts. That deep-seeded feeling that I wasn't good enough for anything I was a fake at my job I wasn't your equal my friends would forget me if I moved away for a month. It wasn't as easy as hearing voices nobody was telling me this. It was just something I knew. Everyone else was playing along but I was sure that one day they would all stop.
I remember when I became an actress and when people would come and ask me if they could take a picture with me, I would say no. Then my mom told me, 'Who do you think you are? You are what you are because of them. The day they will stop coming to you, you will be no one.' I realised I was wrong.
People said: 'You're too big to play football,' but I kept playing and it just happened that people have caught on to me and taken to me. The nicest thing I get from it is that I can be myself and people seem to like it.
You can't stop me in bump. And you definitely can't stop me playing off. You just try to contain me and stop me from getting a lot of catches.
I'd never taken a job purely for money - I felt that would kill me - but I was afraid that I was heading that way. Then, my brother passing away was the final thing that kicked me over. It reminded me that life is short, and you'd better do what you want while you have a chance.
I was quite small as a lad compared to everyone else so I didn't stand a chance at Southampton. They told me one day that they weren't interested so I moved on. I just went away and enjoyed my football.
Somebody told me that if you wake up every day and do stuff that's easy, then you're doing the wrong thing. If you wake up every day and do stuff that's really hard and you manage to get through to people, then you're doing the right thing. They might have just fooled me by telling me that, but it worked. I think that's my philosophy.
For me specifically, I think college benefited me. Just getting me out of doing, getting me out of what I was doing before. I was just doing the same thing, you know, every day, same schedule, just practicing, training, things like that.
Even back then I really didn't enjoy playing chord changes, riffs, and solos when I was young. The only thing I enjoyed playing were these Robert Fripp-type double-picked loops that no one wanted to hear, including me; I just liked playing them.
Come away with in the night
Come away with me
And I will sing you a song
Come away with me on a bus
Come away where they can't tempt us
With there lies
I want to walk with you
On a cloudy day
In fields where the yellow grass grows
Knee-high
So won't you try to come
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountain top
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
And I want to wake up with the rain
Falling on a tin roof
While I'm safe there in your arms
So all I ask is for you
To come away with me in the night
Come away with me.
In life and in sports we know that nothing lasts forever. The same year the greatest physical gift (football) the Lord gave me was taken away from me, I was blessed with the greatest gift any of us could have in two beautiful children. I’d take that trade every day of the week.