Well, being at a big school, I had to perform every night. I had to deal with a lot of fans, media stuff, interactions, relationships, you know, just to build myself and show how much I care about Kentucky.
Back home I had always been comfortable around people. I was the troublemaker, always being funny - that's just who I am. I'm Latina; I've always had that extra little flavor. But when I got to New York, it became about being comfortable with myself in a place where I didn't know many people, and that was the big challenge. Ultimately my personality helped me build relationships with the people I was working with, and I was able to stand out.
I’m more comfortable with myself than when I was younger. I hated myself then. Wait, I didn’t hate myself – that’s a strong word. But I was so diffident. I didn’t know how to act, for one. I had no confidence in that area or in myself at all, really. I had a big inner critic and still do. I just don’t listen to it so much.
The '90s period I just miss because it was such a great time and the music was just so electric. Everybody just had to bring their A-game back then because everybody that was, you know, a big influence...they were on the charts. I bring that era with me everywhere I go. I care about every word I sing. I care about every move I make on stage. I care about the fans. I bring that with me to the present time. And then, when you're timeless, you can work in any time.
I think I'd concentrate on young women - particularly girls at school - and I would try and build into school curriculums much more education about relationships and how girls (and boys) can handle them: stuff about consent and that sort of thing.
I think a lot of us who had these oddly shaped childhoods, in some ways we're hyper-capable. We're able to take care of ourselves in a lot of ways but it's like we're missing a piece. When everyone went to school to learn how to be a regular person we were sick that day. We compensate other ways. Alcohol and drugs is one of those ways. Instead of learning how to cope with our problems and deal with hardship and deal with anger, we just decide to get drunk and not care.
Why being involved in social media has had such a tremendous impact on me, is deeply connecting me with fans in ways that I never had before. I was connected with fans and I always appreciated the relationship I had with fans, but, through social media, it allowed a deeper connection.
The book is about zombies, in that it is the over-arching theme, but what's going on is the story of these people and how these survivors deal. I think that's so much more of an interesting story, and that's what really gets and hooks these readers into the book and the show. It's a mix of fans of drama, fans of AMC, fans of horror and fans of Frank [Darabont]. It's a lot of people just coming together and realizing a genre doesn't have to be fixed in one specific detail.
Like, I've had full interactions with fans as my brother and they don't notice. Pretending to be Dev is easy. I just act like myself except much louder.
I just know that I had great matches pretty much every night. I had great rapport with the fans. I could make them love me or hate me depending on what I wanted.
Sci-fi fans are awesome. They're very smart, they like to be involved, they like to ask questions. I've been asked questions I don't even know the answer to. I've never had any aggressive interactions. I've had lovely interactions.
I just remember saying to myself that I'd much rather do movies than modeling, and that it was worth a try. I didn't really know anything about it. I hadn't seen many movies, or so-called, good movies. When I was a kid, I was obsessed with Star Wars and Night of the Living Dead. When I got more curious about the movies, I thought they were something you had to learn about and go to school for and read every book.
You learn so much about yourself as an artist. I never would have thought that I could sing every night, you know? Travel and perform every single night, and travel to another city the next day and do it all over again? You learn a lot of new things about yourself, and you make a lot of connections with people.
When you build a big empire, you become the persona that people think they know. So when you try to show them who you are, to help them discover you, they just want what they think they know about you. I would have been smarter to build some relationships when I was younger, a private love or something. Today it is more difficult. But it's the price to pay. I never regret anything, because every choice I made for a reason, but I'd love personal love.
I believe that every fight we've had is a big fight, and every fight we've had is a fight where I've learned a lot of things in the ring, I learn about myself, and it's sort of pushed me to know where I can go.
I went from being a casual songwriter who wore big sweatshirts and leggings every day to someone telling me I was going to be a pop star who's on camera every day. I didn't know a lot about fashion because I had kind of given up on my relationship with clothes. Now, I have a stylist that's shown me the right places I can show off my body - but I still stick to my comfort zone in fittings. I want to be covered and I think I can be sexy fully covered. That learning process has been helping me with my confidence. And I follow actresses and singers who post on social media about being confident.
I was at business school doing pretty well for myself, had a few offers from some great companies. But when I traveled across the world, I was shocked by just how much pain, struggle, and anguish people had to go through to have basic necessities.