You might be a redneck if your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire on her house.
You might be a redneck if your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair.
You might be a redneck if your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
You might be a redneck if every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
You might be a redneck if your daughter's Barbie's Dream House has a clothesline in the front yard.
You might be a redneck if you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You might be a redneck if the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
If you're afraid they might discover your redneck past, there are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past.
I have to buy three of everything. It doesn't make any sense, but I have to. I'm worried I might lose it, and if I lose it, then I have a backup and then I have a backup to my backup.
You might be a redneck if when you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.