A Quote by Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures. — © Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if you had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
I really did put up all my wedding pictures on my website. And I swear to you, my wedding pictures got downloaded just as much as my bikini pictures.
If you have more fish on your wall than pictures, you might be a redneck.
If your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.
I don't think it's illegal. I don't think it's against the rules. It's as dangerous for me to have a toothpick in your mouth as it is to have a 200-pound man punch me in the face hard or try to kick me in the face. I'm more worried about that, to be honest. I don't have any superstitions. I won world titles with a toothpick. I defended it without a toothpick. It all depends. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't. It's a bad habit. I know I shouldn't do it, but it's fine.
Jeff Foxworthy had that whole "You might be a redneck" thing; Larry the Cable Guy had "Git-R-Done." Some comics have that hook. Dane Cook had that super finger. So I just caught on early on. I ran with "Fluffy."
You might be a redneck if you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many 'You might be a redneck jokes' as he wants, but I'm telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something - 'How dare you!' I totally think it's unfair.
If you're afraid they might discover your redneck past, there are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past.
My father collected turtles when he was young. My parent's wedding album, there's two pictures of them getting married and the rest are just pictures of turtles. I remember they had Galapagos tortoises that they had somehow imported illegally and a bunch of other turtles too. I like the animals themselves. They're so self-possessed and self-contained and there's something wise and mysterious about them. I also like that they are prehistoric animals.
My first wedding was 15 people at our condo. The second was maybe about a hundred people at this fabulous casino. And you know what? I have almost no pictures of the second one, because I put disposable cameras on the tables, because everyone said, "The best pictures are the most candid! The best pictures are the ones people just take!" So, I put disposable cameras on the tables, and guess what? There were so many kids there that those cameras were stomped on. I had so many pictures of the floor, of people's eyes, of someone's finger.
Jasmine smirke at the weapon in my hand. "That little toothpick won't save you, Gypsy." "Touthpick?" Vic muttered in an indignant voice. “Did she just call me a bleeding toothpick? Kill her! Kill her now!
You might be a redneck if your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mud flaps.
When Joe and I got married two years ago, we were both super strictly Paleo and we were shredded for the wedding! All of our wedding pictures consequently turned out fantastic. I wish I could say I was as thin now as I was then!
You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
You might be a redneck if on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
When I planned my wedding the first time, my ex-husband and I, we were both struggling comics. I had a TV show that had gotten cancelled. Basically, I rented a wedding gown; the reception hall smelled like feet.
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