A Quote by Jim Gaffigan
My wife told me that in the Bible, Abraham circumcised himself... wow! I can't even get to the bank before it closes.
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Even before the kids are born, you've go to make these decisions. If it's a boy, do we get him circumcised? If it's a girl, do we keep her?
I was just surprised when my wife told me we were having a baby. I was like, Wow, that's awesome. You're going to make a great single mom.
The father-son relationship is the strongest there is. It's been the basis of drama all the way back to the Bible. Notice, Abraham wasn't told to sacrifice a daughter.
I always think before an important shot: What is the worst that can happen on this shot? I can whiff it, shank it, or hit it out-of-bounds. But even if one of those bad things happens, I've got a little money in the bank, my wife still loves me, and my dog won't bite me when I come home.
Every day before supper and before we went to services on Sundays. My grandmother would read the Bible to me, and my grandfather would pray. We even had devotions before going to pick cotton in the fields. Prayer and the Bible, became a part of my everyday thoughts and beliefs. I learned to put my trust in God and to seek Him as my strength.
You can find justification for slavery in the Bible. Some say this is what the Bible says and that closes the argument.
Psychologically it gets challenging at times to switch into a female character. But the moment I get into the look of Palak, I automatically get into the mood of her. My wife and parents have no problem with it. My wife has only told me not to enter the house in the Palak get-up after the shoot.
I'd never heard of colon cancer. Baseball wasn't even important to me. I have a wife and two girls. That's what was important. The doctors told me and all I could say was, 'When are we going to get this thing out?'
It may here be observed, that all who are offended by us are exposed to our view. But the rich man sees Lazarus not with any other righteous man, but in Abraham's bosom. For Abraham was full of love, but the man is convicted of cruelty. Abraham sitting before his door followed after those that passed by, and brought them into his house, the other turned away even them that abode within his gate.
My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it.
I have been especially fortunate for about 50 years in having two memory banks available-whenever I can't remember something I ask my wife, and thus I am able to draw on this auxiliary memory bank. Moreover, there is a second way In which I get ideas ... I listen carefully to what my wife says, and in this way I often get a good idea. I recommend to ... young people ... that you make a permanent acquisition of an auxiliary memory bank that you can become familiar with and draw upon throughout your lives.
One of the most powerful aspects of service - being different. What is WOW? WOW! is great service! WOW! separates the EXTRAordinary from the ordinary. WOW! Separates the strong from the weak. WOW! separates the sincere from the insincere. WOW! separates the pro's from the con's. WOW! separates the yes's from the no's. WOW! is the full measure of your personal power, and the way you use it. WOW! is doing what others can't (or won't). WOW! is what you do for others in an exceptional way. WOW! is the ticket to success. Your ticket. Are you WOW?
I think one of the main challenges that the World Bank faces is creating an organizational structure that doesn't get in the way of its staff. We have fantastic staff. People told me as I was coming into the organization that the greatest asset of the World Bank Group is its staff, and I think there's no question that that's the case.
Journalists told me that a talk show wouldn't work. Some told me I was going to get canceled before my first season was up.
My wife and I - her more than me - are really strong Christians. Her whole life revolves around studying the Bible, Bible study, after-school Bible class she does for little kids on Wednesdays, teaches Sunday school.
I was ill. I was told I was stressed, so I had to get everything checked out. I didn't think I was, but someone told me I was. As a result, I went to get a blood test. I'd never had one before, so I held my breath when I was getting it done. That caused me to go into a fit.
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