A Quote by Louis C. K.

Maybe God is an asshole...of course not, he's not an asshole, he's imaginary.

Louis C. K.

Quote Topics

Course God Imaginary Maybe

Quote Author

Louis C. K.
American - Comedian
Born: September 12, 1967

? top up position down The fact that I suspect I'm an asshole means I probably am not, because a real asshole doesn't think he's an asshole, does he? Therefore, by realizing that I'm an asshole, I am in fact negating that very realization, am I not? Descartes's Asshole Axiom: I think I am; therefor I'm not one.

Jonathan Tropper

I know that asshole you were with in college --” “Can we leave that asshole out of it?” Please, gentlemen, one asshole at a time.

Josh Lanyon

If you're an asshole, you have an excuse for being an asshole because you're a junkie. But then once you give up the drugs, and you're still an asshole, that's problematic.

Jerry Stahl

Don’t flirt, have sex, or engage in emotional affairs with your friends’ significant others. This shouldn’t need to be said, but it needs to be said. That significant other is an asshole, and you don’t want to be involved with an asshole who’s used goods. If you want to be with an asshole, get a fresh asshole of your very own. They are abundant.

Roxane Gay

Oh, baby, this ain’t asshole. Trust me. There’s a whole keg of asshole I haven’t even begun to tap yet.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Bitten? You mean you're a-" "A werewolf," said the girl. "Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister.

Cassandra Clare

When you talk like an asshole and look like an asshole, you're an asshole

John Lydon

I mean, I'm always happy if I have, like, humiliating asshole things that I did. I think: Oh good, that's a good story. Because if you write about humiliating asshole things other people do it doesn't work as well. I mean, you can, but you can get away with it better if you talk about what an asshole you are. It's much easier.

David Sedaris

It takes one asshole to ruin the whole thing. That's it. One. The problem with the world is one asshole comes up with a really bad idea and now we're all taking our shoes off at the airport.

Steven Soderbergh

Recently I've been looking for something new. The past few projects I've worked on, I keep getting cast as the asshole. I promise I'm a nice guy and not the asshole that everyone keeps seeing.

Dave Franco

The whole purpose of climbing something like Everest is to effect some sort of spiritual and physical gain. But if you compromise the process you’re an asshole when you start out and an asshole when you get back.

Yvon Chouinard

I respect your right to worship Satan, or to worship a tea kettle, or to be a NIMBY, or to be an asshole. There's no law against being an asshole.

Chicken John

A lot of times, that asshole behavior is a cover for deep insecurities, and sometimes the deeper the insecurities, the bigger the asshole.

Tommy Dewey

Once an asshole, always an asshole.

Deb Caletti

What did you write on here? ‘Don’t die’?” “No, I wrote, ‘Don’t be an asshole!’”I headed for the house. “On yours or mine?” “On yours.” “Well, in that case, your magic isn’t working. I’m still an asshole.