A Quote by Maz Jobrani
I was in awe of my father. His generosity was beyond anything I ever could imagine. The reason I say he's like Don Corleone is he was always breaking off hundreds. I'd be like, 'Hey Dad, I'm going to McDonald's with my friends,' and he'd just whip out a hundred: 'Here, go, have fun.'
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If there's anything I could undo - usually when I want to undo things its like right on the moment because I look to the stuff that I go through in my life and something always comes out for a reason so I'm doing that. But, its always that when you say something that's just so asinine and so stupid, you're like, ahh, if I could just, please, have an undo button just to not say that.
Look at Satan. Created as an angel, grows up to be the Great Adversary. Hey, if you’re going to go on about genetics, you might as well say the kid will grow up to be an angel. After all, his father was really big in Heaven in the old days. Saying he’ll grow up to be a demon just because his dad became one is like saying a mouse with its tail cut off will give birth to tailless mice. No. Upbringing is everything. Take it from me.
Because you can never go from going out to being friends, just like that. It's a lie. It's just something that people say they'll do to take the permanence out of a breakup. And someone always takes it to mean more than it does, and then is hurt even more when, inevitably, said ‘friendly' relationship is still a major step down from the previous relationship, and it's like breaking up all over again. But messier.
It was kind of like an agreement, I guess you can say. It was like, 'Hey, bro, you want to be on Team USA?' And I was like, 'Yeah.' Who would say no to that? It was kind of like, 'Dang, I really get to play for my country. I get to represent and just go out there and have fun.'
I don't advertise what I do to my kids. I don't go around waving a flag. I'm sure they are proud, in a certain way. I'm not like 'hey kids - check this out.' No matter what they do, your dad is still your dad. Nothing is going to help you out in that regard. Dad is just not cool.
The reason my kids like McDonald's is that they always know what they're going to get. It's not gourmet food, but the french fries they order in Indianapolis are just like the french fries they order in Tampa. Wherever they get McDonald's fries, they know it will be the same. That's what McDonald's does.
Fathers and sons are natural enemies. Look at any species. Shark, sees his father in the water, he's not thinking, Hey dad, wassup ? He's thinking, Back off, old man, this surfer carcass is mine. Of course, when his girlfriend swims up and she's like, Way, you know, there's enough surfer for everybody. You and your dad need to frenzy together more. Leave you father a thigh.
If your dad is anything like mine, then you have no clue what to buy him for Father's Day. The only Father's Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, 'Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father's Day this year?' and he says, 'Nothing.' Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, 'He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No. 5 perfume.'
I thought my dad was out of work, because my friends had fathers with briefcases who'd go off somewhere with bow ties on. But my father would finish breakfast and go back to his room.
I can't just go to McDonald's after I'm done working out. I'm going to treat my body like it's the only body I'm ever going to have. I'm going to make sure it's strong and it's good. I'm really going to work hard every single day.
For some reason I did something where I realized I could get a reaction. That was when I broke out of my shell at school, because I really didn't have any friends or anything like that and I just kind of was going along, and then finally I did this zany thing, and all of a sudden I had tons of friends.
When everything starts breaking down, the Taos Indians say, go into your house, and pull the drapes so you don't see all the craziness going on, which could cause fear. And just stay in your heart and let Mother Earth and all the energies that you are intimately part of do their job and stay in trust. It is easy to say and harder to do. It is just like when you get cancer or something like that and people are told that they are going to die, and then they get really worried. But we are immortal. We've always been alive .
If I want to see someone, I want to see them, and if I don't, then I don't. My friends are always telling me I have to play hard to get because I'll pretty much say to a guy, 'I like you - let's go hang out.' But my friends are like, 'You can't do that! You have to string this guy along.' And I'm just like, 'No! I won't! I just want to go on the date!' It's a nightmare - I definitely haven't figured it out yet.
I just never have really been the kind of person that's out in public being inappropriate, I guess. I like to have fun as much as the next person but I tend to do it in private and just hang out with close friends. If I'm going to go out, I'll just do it with my really good friends.
Catcalling is pretty much never going to work. Like anytime a guy's like, "Hey girl! Can we friends?" It's like, I don't know you. I'm just walking by right now, and that's weird. No relationship has ever started from a catcall.
When we go and play live... we go and we work with like different organizations: the food banks, homeless shelters, children's hospitals or different homes that are reaching out to people. And just to actually go and say, 'Hey, don't just hear me play, come to my concert, that's it, hope you have a good night.' It's like, 'Hey, come be a part.'
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