A Quote by Mitch Hedberg

I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But if the gas tank says "E", I get all cocky - "I've got this one, don't worry." So I get out the toolbox AKA wallet.

Mitch Hedberg

Quote Topics

Aka Breaks Car Cocky Does Down Fix Gas Get Got How Know Know How Out Say Says Screwed Tank Toolbox Wallet Worry

Quote Author

Mitch Hedberg
American - Comedian
February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

A car produces about one pound of CO2 per mile. There is no problem with collecting the CO2 in the tailpipe, but one might easily end up with a trailer hitched to the car for carrying all this CO2 back to the filling station. The gas burned from a 15-gallon tank would fill up five 60-inch-tall gas bottles.

Klaus Lackner

When you borrow a man's car, always return it with a tank of gas.

Charlie Munger

You might be a redneck if when you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.

Jeff Foxworthy

Like this gas tank, you are overflowing with preconceptions, full of useless knowledge. You hold many facts and opinions, yet know little of yourself. Before you can learn, you'll have to first empty your tank.

Dan Millman

Obviously the horse can still do things that the gas car can never do, and the gas car will always be able to do things the electric car can't do. But they have really different uses and advantages.

Chris Paine

I decided I was going to be an artist who wrote my own songs, and turned down the publishing deal. That meant that the first few years here were really tough financially. I didn't know if I was going to have gas to get home sometimes or could put gas in the car.

Cam

Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong-normally you wouldn't say, thank God I have gas.

Ellen DeGeneres

If it tastes good, spit it out. All those cakes and pies and candy and ice cream -- all that terrible fast food stuff! I just bought a new corvette sports car ... would I put oil in the gas tank? Would I?

Jack LaLanne

It's the twenty-first century." I told Tank. "Women drive." "Only in my bed," Tank said. "Never in my car.

Janet Evanovich

As a mother, I - like everyone else - have to fill my gas tank in my car. I have to feed my family. I have to be able to make sure that I can keep a roof over their heads and, with things escalating the way they are, it's very difficult. People are losing their homes.

Cindy McCain

As an 18-year-old, I learned a valuable lesson when I attempted to cut costs and pumped leaded gas into my first car - a car that required unleaded gas only. It did not take long before I realized the gravity of my error.

Eric Adams

Unless you've also had some experience dragging around a boat trailer, [topping off the gas tank] may not sound important. But trailer driver's know: a gas stop can be a traumatic experience. You need enough clearance on every possible side. You can't cut the turn too sharp or you'll clip the gas pump. Getting back on the freeway can be as challenging as sending a man to the moon.

Brad Alan Lewis

I definitely love that all these car brands are coming out with hybrid forms of every car that they have. It's very awesome because I think it does make a difference, and it doesn't hurt that you save a lot of money on gas.