A Quote by Mitch Hedberg
My friend said to me, You know what I like? Mashed potatoes. I was like, Dude, you have to give me time to guess. If you're going to quiz me you have to insert a pause.
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Nothing like mashed potatoes when you're feeling blue. Nothing like getting into bed with a bowl of hot mashed potatoes already loaded with butter, and methodically adding a thin, cold slice of butter to every forkful.
Quentin [Tarantino] called me and said: "Yeah, you've got to be in my movie. You've got to be in Death Proof." But he made me audition. I was like: "Dude, I don't even want to do this..." So I left the casting of Hostel: Part II to drive to Venice, where Quentin was holding his casting, and the person ahead of me was Derek Richardson from Hostel 1 and he was like: "Dude, what are you doing here?" I said: "Don't ask!"
It hasn't really made it easier getting film work. It's not like I can call up a studio or a producer and say - insert haughty voice here - 'It's Parker. I guess you might know me as the indie queen. I'm wondering if you have any projects for me to be in.'
My mum and my husband are from Irish backgrounds, so we have a lot of potatoes. Chips, mashed, boiled, new potatoes, I love them all. Even the slightly wonky ones like Duchess potatoes that go up in a little spiral.
My mum and my husband are from Irish backgrounds so we have a lot of potatoes. Chips, mashed, boiled, new potatoes, I love them all. Even the slightly wanky ones like Duchess potatoes that go up in a little spiral.
It was a long time ago, we were in the office, and we had finished work exhausted. A friend of a friend said 'Hey, take this it will give you energy,' so I thought I'd try it. I didn't know what it was. It made me laugh and laugh, like crazy...to the point that my back hurt' *he holds his hips* 'like I'd just had a baby.
My son, who sees me almost every day of his life, will look at me and go, "I know that dude! I like that dude!" It's incredibly affirming.
I feel like I know I have enough friends who support me through those times. Like, I'll call a friend and be like, 'I really don't feel good about what I ate today,' and she'll be like, 'Dude, it's fine.'
I don't even think about having a "rock-star profile." But sure, I always think, "Wouldn't it be great to have your friends along for the ride?" I just feel like me, you know? I've always been me, and I feel like the same guy. It surprises me when people expect me to be anything other than just a dude. I'm just a dude.
I was getting keys for my apartment, and I asked if I could get doubles, because I'm forgetful, and the woman there said, "Yeah, but it costs $5." I was like, "Oh, okay." But then she said, "Actually, you know what, I'm just going to give it to you for free. You were in that movie Mrs. Doubtfire, and that movie really helped me out in a time when I needed it. It got me through something, and it made me laugh when I needed to laugh.
If I want mashed potatoes, I make cauliflower mashed potatoes, which taste exactly the same. I basically just take all of my cravings and make them low carb.
You know me better than anyone, and you're my best friend. I don't think there's anything you could say to me that would lead me to believe that you're doing it just to hurt me. If there's one thing I've come to know about you, it's that you're not even capable of something like that. Why do you think I like spending time with you so much? Because you're a good guy. A nice guy.
I can’t do it, Gideon! I can’t make out the way you kiss me one moment and then act as if you loathed me like poison the next!” Gideon said, after a brief pause, “I’d much rather be kissing you the whole time than loathing you, but you don’t exactly make it easy for me.
Let's suppose we all just materialized on Earth and there was a bunch of potatoes on the ground, okay? There's just six of us. Only six humans. We come into a clearing and there's potatoes on the ground. Now, my instinct would be, let's everybody get some potatoes. "Everybody got a potato? Joey didn't get a potato! He's small, he can't hold as many potatoes. Give Joey some of your potatoes." "No, these are my potatoes!" That's the Republicans. "I collected more of them, I got a bigger pile of potatoes, they're mine. If you want some of them, you're going to have to give me something."
And all I could do while I listened to this dude tell me how punk rock saved his life was think, Wow. Why did my friend waste all that time going to chemotherapy? I guess we should have just played him a bunch of shitty Black Flag records.
I said you [Mike Pence] can't give me this [Purple Heart]. He said, "Mr. Trump you mean so much to me and my family." You know we're doing very well with the veterans. I know you guys do not like to say that.
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