A Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.
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Rick Steiner is so stupid, it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
He's so slow that he takes an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.
When I was a teenager, just about the only thing I could do right was play music. In my graduating class, I was certainly not voted 'Most Literary Boy.' I can assure you I was not voted 'Mostly Likely to Succeed.' I was voted 'Most Musical Boy.' And the music led to the poetry.
I was voted Most Happy-Go-Lucky in high school. Can you believe that? I was crying every other day by myself, but I was voted Most Optimistic and Most Likely to Have Her Own Television Talk Show.
Do you get the feeling with Sarah Palin, in high school, she was voted least likely to write a book and most likely to burn one?
For a mother the project of raising a boy is the most fulfilling project she can hope for. She can watch him, as a child, play the games she was not allowed to play; she can invest in him her ideas, aspirations, ambitions, and values - or whatever she has left of them; she can watch her son, who came from her flesh and whose life was sustained by her work and devotion, embody her in the world. So while the project of raising a boy is fraught with ambivalence and leads inevitably to bitterness, it is the only project that allows a woman to be - to be through her son, to live through her son.
I really take pride in doing my own make-up all the time, which takes me about 40 minutes, and my hair takes another 15 to 20 minutes. Putting on my gear is probably another 15 minutes, so all in all, I don't think an hour and a half is too bad!
Even if your watch is full of diamonds the hour is still 60 minutes
In terms of my wife, she obviously is a Monday nighter and doing very well. I watch her, I watch when she's on, and kinda give her feedback when she asks for it and she'll watch when I am on and she'll kinda give me feedback of what she thought was good and bad.
We're spending, on average, 27 minutes a day cooking and about four minutes cleaning up, so basically about a half hour. Any one of TV shows takes twice as long to watch as that, which I think is very interesting because the main excuse people give for not cooking is they don't have time to cook, but somehow they're finding time to watch other people cook or eat on TV.
I want to break up the Wall Street banks. Hillary Clinton doesn't. I want to raise the minimum wage to 15 bucks an hour. She wants $12 an hour. I voted against the War in Iraq. She voted for the War in Iraq. I believe we should ban fracking. She does not. I believe we should have tax on carbon and deal aggressively with climate change. That is not her position.
When I was at Valencia my wife said that we would win the league. She was right and to mark the occasion she asked me for a new watch. I bought her the watch, but then she said that we would win the UEFA Cup and that when we did she wanted another watch. Now she says that we will win the Champions League and that she will want an even more expensive watch. My wife has a lot of confidence and a lot of watches.
I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.
When I was in high school, I was voted most likely to succeed.
I'd like to shower and change clothes," she said. "Would you mind waiting for me a half hour?" The question seemed to amuse him. "Not at all," he said with exaggerated formality. "Please take all the time you need." Michael watched her walk away. Did he mind waiting a half hour for her? Not at all. He'd been waiting years for her.
The Prophet had made dishonorable proposals to my wife... under cover of his asserted 'Revelation.'... Smith told his wife Jane the Lord had commanded that he should take plural wives, to add to his glory... Joseph asked her to give him half her love; she was at liberty to keep the other half for her husband.
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