A Quote by Rodney Dangerfield

You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two. — © Rodney Dangerfield
You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two.
I've been recognised in garages. I'll be paying for my petrol, and I'll see this guy looking at me, thinking, 'Is it him?' Then he'll be looking at my car: 'No, he couldn't be driving that car.' I've actually had two people say to me:,'Hello Dominic, I thought you might have a better car than that, mate!'
When you're in a rehearsal room, it's like getting into a car and going on a long journey with everyone's stuff in the back. If you keep stopping the car and going, 'Are you sure we want to go?' and think, 'This is really daunting,' you will get frightened, so you just have to keep ploughing through it.
I don't wanna go throught the motions I don't wanna go one more day Without your all-consuming Passion inside of me I don't wanna spend my whole life asking What if I had given everything? Instead of going through the motions.
I'll tell you what. I've been in combat. I've seen it, I've been close to it... and if my unit is danger, and I've got a captured guy, and the guy knows where the enemy is, and I'm looking him in the eye, the guy better tell me. That's all I'm gonna tell you. The guy better tell me. If it's life or death, he's going first.
Today there are two points where a car manufacturer has interaction with you as an owner of a car. One, you buy the car. Two, you go to the car shop to repair the car.
Certain guys are different. A guy like Marshawn Lynch, he's more of a running through a guy. Mine is to get a guy off balance and going through an arm tackle, go through a shoulder, those types of things. Get them going one way and try to hit the other side.
God laughs on two occasions. He laughs when the physician says to the patient's mother, 'Don't be afraid, mother; I shall certainly cure your boy.' God laughs, saying to Himself, 'I am going to take his life, and this man says he will save it!' The physician thinks he is the master, forgetting that God is the Master. God laughs again when two brothers divide their land with a string, saying to each other, 'This side is mine and that side is yours.' He laughs and says to Himself, 'The whole universe belongs to Me, but they say they own this portion or that portion.'
I cannot tell you how many times guides have said to me, "Please tell them to stop praying to me. I can't make things happen. I can't protect them from going through challenging experiences. These are experiences their soul has chosen to go through. I'm here to keep them on their path, but I don't want them to give me all this attention or power or focus." Realistically, the guides I work with are really encouraging people to find their inner voice.
Don't wanna sleep, don't wanna die, just wanna go a-travellin' through the pastures of the sky
I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"
I'm going through the neutral zone and I've got a guy tugging me through the whole way, if I don't go down, I'm not going to get a call.
I've seen the Tortilla Guy hashtag when I'm going through my Instagram and all of that and I think it's pretty funny. It's weird because I've met this guy before, I know who he is, but he's really kind of elusive, even around our camp. I've had some people tell me, 'Don't tell us who he is. We're having fun trying to figure it out!'
For me, I felt bad for people asking the questions, cause you know their boss sent them out saying, 'Get me something on Mission Impossible.' And you ask the question, and it's just a polite, 'I'm not going to tell you.' Then, every so often, they'd go, 'Well, can't you just tell us a little bit?' I have to say, 'You know what guys, I'm under contract and I'm not going to tell you anything.' So you keep asking the questions and I'm just going to keep smiling. And it's hard, cause I don't want to seem rude, but it's part of my job just like it's part of their job to keep a secret.
To wanna be me is to go through not just the good but the bad. You wanna share my story identically? Man, you gonna take some lumps.
I'm a businessperson. I did really well. But I have common sense. And I said, well, I'll tell you. I haven't given lots of thought to NATO. But two things.Number one, the 28 countries of NATO, many of them aren't paying their fair share. Number two - and that bothers me, because we should be asking - we're defending them, and they should at least be paying us what they're supposed to be paying by treaty and contract.
I tell you, if I'm going to go through a divorce, I would date again a younger man. Because I have so much energy, there's no way an older man can keep up with me.
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