You can't measure success if you have never failed. My father has taught me that if you really do want to reach your goals, you can't spend any time worrying about whether you're going to win or lose. Focus only on getting better.
In basketball - as in life - true joy comes from being fully present in each and every moment, not just when things are going your way. Of course, it's no accident that things are more likely to go your way when you stop worrying about whether you're going to win or lose and focus your full attention on what's happening right this moment.
I'm inspired on a daily basis by my personal goals. I make it a habit to write down what it is that I want to accomplish. And I check that list. I keep myself accountable. My kids inspire me, of course. My ambition inspires me. I want to win at everything that I do in life. I understand that it takes hard work to reach my goals and I'm prepared to do it. My confidence comes from preparation. So I spend a lot of my time preparing.
People who focus on 'getting better' goals (also known as Personal Bests) as opposed to performance goals have a much better chance of success.
When you think about success - whether it be in softball, getting into college or becoming an 'American Idol' singer - whatever your goals and aspirations are, you're going to have to stand out at some point if you want to succeed.
I think sometimes, when you're on top and all you do is win, win, win, win, win, you get lazy and lose focus. When you lose it opens your eyes and you get serious. There is always a time when it is good to lose, at the right time for you.
I saw one of the absolute truths of this world: each person is worrying about himself; no one is worrying about you. He or she is worrying about whether you like him, not whether he likes you. He is worrying about whether he looks prepossessing, not whether you are dressed correctly. He is worrying about whether he appears poised, not whether you are. He is worrying about whether you think well of him, not whether he thinks well of you. The way to be yourself ... is to forget yourself.
No one is going to give it to you. Spend everyday getting better and focus on that which you can control, let everything else fall into place. You can't stay focused on what you can get from success, but rather focus on becoming successful!
You don't really want to play your brother. You want to play your brother in a championship game because not only does someone lose, someone's going to win a championship, too. To me, that's the only time you're really looking to do it.
I was never satisfied if I didn't win a major. I mean, not that year or any major I played, I wasn't satisfied unless I won it. But that's what our goals are. I'm sure that these guys' goals are the same as mine. They want to win every time they play. If you don't win, then you're not happy, obviously.
Sit down and write it down with a pen and then make up your mind you are going to do it. Don't spend any time thinking of why you can't. The fun is not in getting it, the fun is in growing. Goals are to help us grow, goals are to help us get. The getting is a site benefit; the growth is the real benefit.
We know from research that growth is actually contagious, so if you want to reach your goals, you've got to get around people that are going in the same direction you want to be going, and you will catch the success.
The important thing to know about playing to win and playing not to lose is that there are actually different neural networks that are being used. It's not very easy to do both at the same time and, if you are trying to have a playing to win mentality, you're going for it, there's some things that trip you up or trigger the wrong neural network. If you start worrying about your mistakes all of a sudden, if you get too focused on the facts and the details, these are going to shift your neural networks and sort of screw up your strategy.
Well, it's about getting points. And there are different ways of getting points. Whether you're offensively good, capable of scoring enough goals to win enough games, or resilient enough not to lose too many.
I've had teammates that are mirror guys. While they want to win, what they're really concerned about is themselves. In a win, they could be upset. In a loss, they could be happy. All that mattered was their own success. Window people, on the other hand, measure success by the contribution they make into the lives of others.
At the end of the day, it's all about how you were raised and your perspective. It's all about if you want to win. If you don't want to win anymore, then you can't win. If you're not in the game, you can't win the game. If you give up, let it be your perspective. I've been taught long ago that I'll never be nothing.
My biggest change is what is important to me, and what is not. What's worthy worrying about, and what is not. When we're younger, we tend to spend too much time worrying and going over the unnecessary. I'm no longer running the hamster wheel.