A Quote by Adam DeVine
When I was 15, I worked as a bag boy in a grocery store. I also needed to walk old ladies to their car and put their bags in the car, and they would give me two dollars. I felt like the richest man in the world.
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The only real goal I had was, I wanted to own a car. Because my father, most of the time, he couldn't afford a car. Once in a while he would have a car, but it would be 10 or 15 years old, an old jalopy.
I have a 15-year-old boy, and we are about to give him car keys, which seems like an act of insanity when you know what you know about 15-year-old boy behavior. But in 2018, we'll have self-driving cars, and it will be so much better. My son may be the last generation of kids who learns to drive.
There are at least two distinct meanings of 'hot': there is the, like, normal human definition which is that 'this individual seems suitable for mating'. And then there's the weird, culturally constructed definition of 'hot' which means, 'that individual is malnourished and has probably had plastic bags inserted into her breasts'. Like, I think if you went back to the 18th century and asked a 15-year-old boy, 'Would you like to marry a woman who has had plastic bags needlessly inserted into her breasts?' that 15-year-old boy would probably be like ... 'What's plastic?'
I'd like the world to know that I would do what I do for no money. If I could trade my comedy for food, I'd walk into a grocery store and give them 15 minutes for $100 worth of groceries. My passion is beyond the financial. I don't think people are aware of that about me. I'm not a flashy guy, and I want people to know that whatever they do is just as important as my craft.
A lot of times people would offer me movies and, because I'm a car freak, I'd look in a magazine and say, 'How much is this car? If you give me this car I'll show up and do the movie' I call 'em 'sports car flicks'.
As for environmentalism, I'm only an environmentalist by accident. I live in New York, so I bike, and the closest grocery store to me sells organic produce. I also shop with a book bag because I ride a bike, and it's hard to carry the paper or plastic bags.
Today there are two points where a car manufacturer has interaction with you as an owner of a car. One, you buy the car. Two, you go to the car shop to repair the car.
My son, who is 7, he passed a car in a parking lot that was probably a 1998 model, and he said, 'Wow, Dad, look at that old car.' I was looking around for an old car, and I realized that my old car maybe stops at 1965.
I like to wear shoes that are cool but also practical. The same goes for bags. Your bag is a big deal in New York. You can't just carry around a little clutch, because you don't have a car or anywhere to stash things during the day, so you need to carry your whole life with you. That's why I like big, chunky bags with lots of compartments.
I felt pain every night. After games, it took me a long time to walk to my car, and the driving home, it took me a couple of minutes even to get out of my car and extend my legs and just walk.
We go through the whole season working on next season's car and developing the car and making sure we fit in the car and all that sort of stuff. And we obviously give ideas of what we would hope next year's car would have even if it's small things like buttons on the steering wheel and different positions and whatever.
I would like you all to give me a round of applause as I have not crashed my car in over 15 months.
I go on the bus, I walk. A friend left his car recently at my house and I took it out one day just for 15 minutes and it was terrible. You know why? I felt like I was back in LA again. Four or five years ago, when I had a car and I had been out of the city I wouldn't feel I was back until I got in the car, you know. But now I feel off the grid. I feel that I am not part of the culture. And because I don't have a car I don't really go anywhere to buy things. In fact, I have been in a slow process of selling and giving away everything I own.
When I walk into a grocery store and look at all the products you can choose, I say, "My God!" No king ever had anything like I have in my grocery store today.
One tip I like is don't forget your reusable bags when you go to the drug store or to the mall. I think most people think of the bags for the grocery store, but I try to take mine wherever I go.
What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!
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