I always get so overwhelmed trying to do everything perfectly. I can't do a job and not put everything I have into it. I need to be the best employee, the best co-worker, the best whatever. I need everyone to like me and I just burn out bending over backward to make that happen. Having people be mad at me is my worst fear. I can't stand it. There is this crazy fear I have of being rejected by anyone - even people I don't really care about. It's always better to leave them first, cut all ties, and disappear. They can't hurt me that way - no one can.
I've always been surprised when a straight guy likes me. It's just been like my whole life has been kinda like that. I definitely felt like when I started writing music, it wasn't writing for a gay audience at all. I was just writing for me. But what I say whenever I get this question is my best friends have always been gay, I've always been, as a person, just accepted by the gay community, and celebrated and had the best nights of my life at gay clubs. Always had a fashion sense usually with drag and I don't know. That's just kind of my people. That's just kind of where I fit in.
I'm just going to be myself; there's no reason for me to try and go out there and put a certain facade on or emphasize, 'Hey, I'm this. You need to believe it.' I just want to be the best that I can be, and if people like me, that's great, and if they don't, they don't.
It's always different for whatever the scene asks for but usually, I listen to music before the scene just to get into the mood, mellow myself out and really put myself into the character's shoes. I zone out from everything going on around me and just focus on what I have to do. From there, I just let it happen.
I suppose each of us has his own fantasy of how he wants to die. I would like to go out in a blaze of glory, myself, or maybe simply disappear someday, far out in the heart of the wilderness I love, all by myself, alone with the Universe and whatever God may happen to be looking on. Disappear - and never return. That's my fantasy.
I'm frustrated by something, it's my fault for exposing myself to it in the first place. The rumor mill always seemed like a grass fire to me. Why walk out in the middle of the field, it's just going to flame out and go away just like everything else does?
I just got advice to work hard like I always did and never, nobody gave me everything. I always had to earn everything by myself. If I will just continue to do that, I'll be fine.
Anyone that knows me will tell you that any time we're going somewhere, if there's a US flag, they'll always point it out because they know I love it. Just how our whole country started and just the migration of Europeans to this country, all of that, just the history of everything has fascinated me, but my biggest thing is I want people to understand that when there are hostilities between nations there's always two sides.
Before I left for the bubble, a couple days prior I started taking notes on everything I was doing, how my workouts were and stuff like that. I just did it throughout the bubble. It does help me for sure. It keeps me locked in, just always reminding myself of what I need to do.
I think when, like, things like 'The Wizard' and even like 'Tron,' when it first came out, I was a teenager, and, man, I really wanted to kind of just kind of disappear into it.
I just would like to be challenged. I want to push myself to the limit, and constantly challenge myself and grow as an artist. That's where I want to go. Explore different things, different characters, in film, and just everything!
I like to quote the verse, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." I kind of envision me skiing and God is kind of like an eagle right next to me screeching in my ear that everything is going to be all good. I just try my best and that's all I can ask for.
I guess I just like to challenge myself and push myself harder to do things that I don't think I can, to do things that other people do not think I can. It pushes me. I push my own personal limits.
I need to just give - everything that I do, every single day - my all. I just need to. Life is short. We have one life to live. And I need to be able to push for my kid.
I guess I just like to challenge myself and push myself harder to do things that I dont think I can, to do things that other people do not think I can. It pushes me. I push my own personal limits.
Its funny because when I did feel like I came out and I just felt like I was being truthful to myself, (it was at) that point I became very successful. So you know, it took a true kind of facing that truth of myself and being honest, that was when the real kind of fame or whatever that kind of stuff happened for me.