A Quote by Allan Holdsworth
Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't leaving being musician because I use to like it when noone came to see me playing, because I didn't feel any pressure. I can enjoy myself and probably play better. Sometimes when I play, people expect something of me, and I'm not always able to to that. Quite often. So I get totaly nervous
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At Pinetop I just studied music, and there was no pressure to look any certain way, and so being able to sing and play guitar was enough. But when I came out to L.A., there's a whole image that you put out there and people really feed off of that because of social media platforms. And sometimes someone will see a picture of me before they hear one of my songs. It's really important to have it all figured out so that you can portray what you want people to see.
I think people were a little nervous to work with me to start with, because the movies I've done they thought that I wouldn't be able to control myself at all. I'd have to blow up the cars or something like that, and I think also people are scared of working sometimes with feature directors, because they feel like you're not going to listen to their opinions.
I've always been able to fake my way into confidence. Sometimes I put my own fears aside to make sure I'm being of service to others. To clarify - hell yes, it was brave of me to step out in my lingerie for the commercial compaign, not because I'm plus-sized, but because I'm a human being. People get it confused. I'm brave because I'm not afraid of what people are going to say about me. It's not an easy thing to do, but it is something that I will always challenge myself to do. I don't want to be held back by my body because someone tells me I should.
I think sometimes people haven't really quite worked out how to peg me, or exactly what it is that I do. In that way, I feel lucky that I can get to play different things because they haven't quite decided what I am.
I was never a pretty girl, so I wasn't the one to get the boy. I used to cast myself as a good sport. Sometimes I wonder if I do that too much with roles I play, because if I'm absolutely truthful, I quite like being the best friend, or the supporting role, and actually I ought to gear-change and make myself the leading role.
I play with a lot of emotion because I'm a passionate guy, and I play with that passion. I love playing that way. Sometimes you're late onto the ball, sometimes you're not. Sometimes you make contact with the guy when you tackle him, sometimes not. It's a sport where individual duels are vital, so I don't see it as a problem.
I could always hold a melody, but I was never like, I'm going to be a singer. So I'm able to use that when I write. I'm actually playing the beat with my voice. Instead of thinking about coming up with melodies, it's like filling in the instruments. So sometimes it's better to have beats with less melodies in them, because then I can play more with my vocals.
I don't feel pressure because what everyone expects of me is what I expect of myself anyway. Everyone expects me to win this fight, I expect myself to win this fight. It's not any more pressure than what I put on myself. I don't suffer nerves, I don't feel pressure, I just go out and do what I need to do.
One time, I got to go play with lion cubs in Johannesburg. It was amazing. But it's difficult when you're on the road. We're always playing tennis, and there's a lot of pressure. So sometimes you don't get to do the things you'd like to do, because the priority is tennis.
I don't feel like I ever really do get past the nervousness. I'm always nervous. Something about being nervous keeps you on the edge, and I've always felt like I worked better under pressure.
I feel I'm better now than I ever have been. You learn so much as you're doing it. I'm watching tapes and I'll see things that get me annoyed and where I know I can improve. I understand better letting the crowd play more. I've always said it was important for me who I was working with, because I like to kid around a lot. But I've also learned to use my partner better. I'm feeling good. There's no reason to stop.
It is nice to have the fans recognize you, not because it makes you feel like a big-time player, but because they enjoy watching baseball and they like watching us play. It's going to get even better being here. Pretty soon, the city could be one of the best places to play.
If I go to places where other people are playing, I often get up and play myself. I just enjoy the sound and feel of playing.
I think that sometimes when they see me in a movie they expect me to be something nasty. I mean, I play a lot of villains and you show up and they think maybe... That's why it's good to defy expectations sometimes.
I travel because I like to move from place to place, I enjoy the sense of freedom it gives me, it pleases me to be rid of ties, responsibilities, duties, I like the unknown; I meet odd people who amuse me for a moment and sometimes suggest a theme for a composition; I am often tired of myself and I have a notion that by travel I can add to my personality and so change myself a little. I do not bring back from the journey quite the same self that I took
I used to get nervous, you know if my parents would come watch. And then I would get nervous if my friends came and watched. Today it's not a problem anymore actually, because now I enjoy it. I see that they, you know, respect me immensely, and I try to put on a good show and show that I can still play very good tennis.
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