we had each other. I never needed anyone else. That’s the difference between you and me. You need all these people around you. Your friends, your boyfriend, everyone. Every single person has to like you. I only ever needed one person. Only ever needed you.
I recognized that I needed to re-train my brain to stop eating like I wanted to punish myself or punish someone else. I needed to re-learn how to eat like I loved myself, and want to nourish and support myself.
We all know of course, that we should never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever fiddle around in any way with electrical equipment. NEVER.
I knew that if-God forbid-anything ever happened in my life, I needed to know how to take care of myself.
All this time, Lev ever realized what he needed. He did not need to be adored or pitied. He needed to be forgiven. Not by God, who is all forgiving. Not by people like Marcus and Pastor Dan, who would always stand by his side. He needed to be forgiven by an unforgiving world.
It was really important for me to understand that I needed to provide for myself, and I needed to become a provider for my own family, too.
I felt within myself that I needed to change what I was doing. I needed a new stimuli. So the interest from Manchester United was a perfect fit.
I wasn't intentionally trying to create my own path or be original, it was just I needed to say certain things and I needed to express myself, and that's how it came out.
Like everybody I needed to learn to be a coach, I needed to practise that and make mistakes in a decent environment where I could develop myself and not fear I was going to lose my job.
I needed a vacation. I needed 5 women. I needed to get the wax out of my ears. My car needed an oil change. I'd failed to file my damned income tax. One of the stems had broken off of my reading glasses. There were ants in my apartment. I needed to get my teeth cleaned. My shoes were run down at the heels. I had insomnia. My auto insurance had expired. I cut myself every time i shaved. I hadn't laughed in 6 years. I tended to worry when there was nothing to worry about. And when there was something to worry about, i got drunk.
The mindset that is needed, the capabilities that are needed, the metrics that are needed, the whole culture that is needed for discontinuous innovation, are fundamentally different.
I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance, I needed a vacation, I needed a home in the country. What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun. I put them on and went out of the room.
Television does devour you because you have all sorts of responsibilities, and I really needed to renew myself. I think I owed it to myself. So I honored myself and quit. I think that's a wonderful way to put it.
I told myself that I needed to clean myself up big time.
I always pushed myself. Whenever I felt I needed to stop, I made myself run faster.
I needed to get to know myself, discover where my limits were, not constantly push myself too much.