A Quote by Amy Schumer
My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, 'Look at you! You're an angel. You sparkle!' And I was like, 'I do!' You believe your parents.
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My mom used to model when she was younger, before she went to law school, and I think she thought it was pretty cool. I think my parents saw that acting ultimately made me happy, even though it was a rough ride for a little bit.
My mom's younger sister was born with Down syndrome. I was close to my grandmother when I was growing up. I remember talking to my grandmother about politics, and she told me that she regularly voted for the Democrats because she knew that they were going to look out for people like her daughter. That made an impression on me, too.
When I was younger, it's like, 'Mom works. Normal adult stuff.' But you mature and start to look at it differently. I watched my mom struggle. She comes home tired. She doesn't want to do anything. As I got older, I started thinking, 'My mom doesn't deserve this.' My whole devotion became to get my mom out of that trailer.
I think she's great because she - the choices are mine, essentially, and she's just there to guide me. She's my manager, but I feel like she's more of a mom. Although she helps me with certain things, she's still my mom.
I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.... It's not like it was when I was growing up. My mom and my grandmother told me how it was going to be. If I didn't like it, they said, Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. Parents have to take better control.
I thought that I was in heaven
But I was sure surprised
Heaven help me, I didn't see
The devil in your eyes
You look like an angel
Walk like an angel
Talk like an angel
But I got wise
You're the devil in disguise
Oh yes you are
The devil in disguise
I think that's why Meryl Streep is working so much, because she looks like a woman we can all relate to. I look at her and I think, 'I'm chasing my kids, I've moved my parents in with me, I'm coping with food spills - that looks like me in real life'. Meryl looks like an unmade bed, and that's what I look like. To me, that looks true.
My parents told me from the time I can remember that, 'Yeah, you're adopted. But this is your family.' I can remember my mom, she tells me this story: when I was little, I was looking at her, and I was like, 'Why isn't my skin the same color as yours?' She was like, 'Oh, you're adopted, but I wish I had pretty brown skin like you.'
My mom, she's like Why can't you just do a nice romantic comedy like Jennifer Love Hewitt? And I'm like: Mom, look at me. They just don't put me in those movies.
My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.
Nick is 11 and a half years younger than I am, so his mom is only, like, 11 or 12 years older than me. I didn't call her Mrs. Offerman because that would be weird because we're, like, the same age, so I think I went straight to Cathy, but there's a mom element, and his parents are so great.
I think it was like, 'I don't look like you, Mom. I don't look like you, Dad. Like, what's going on here?' They just kind of told me I was adopted. I was like, 'OK, that's fine with me.'
I looked up at my mom, and I was like, 'Well, Mom, uh, when you really think about it, C's aren't really that bad. C's are average.' And I've never seen my mom so upset, to this day. I just saw this flash of fire in her eyes, and she yelled, 'Average? You are never allowed to be average, because you look like me.'
You look like an angel, walk like an angel, talk like an angel. But I got wise, you're the devil in disguise.
I knew that I was a gay boy fairly early; what was interesting to me was that my mother didn’t know. She made me play baseball - I had no desire to do that. I said, ‘Mom, I don’t like direct sunlight, I don’t like bugs, I don’t like grass, and I’d rather be in the house playing with your fabric samples.’
I knew that I was a gay boy fairly early; what was interesting to me was that my mother didn't know. She made me play baseball - I had no desire to do that. I said, 'Mom, I don't like direct sunlight, I don't like bugs, I don't like grass, and I'd rather be in the house playing with your fabric samples.'
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