A Quote by Amy Schumer
You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.
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I say every slur on the planet - racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet - and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society.
Never use curse words, foul language, or racial slurs, or say anything about a person's appearance. Just work with being smart-mouthed.
I know exactly what that movie's [Brokeback mountain] about. I can't define it; it doesn't tie up in a perfect bow. But it's about adolescence. It's about what it feels like - this isn't meant as a criticism, but like things I didn't relate to, which were high school movies. Where I'd watch it and I'd be like, "Well, am I like the kid that nobody likes? Or am I like the person who everybody [likes]?" I couldn't [tell]. I was like quantifying, putting me in a box. "This is my personality at that age" and "I'm this kind of person" just felt like bullshit to me.
You know what's the worst part about being an actress? It's the pressure to look gorgeous all the time and to behave perfectly. But I'm not perfect, nobody is.
You know what's the worst part about being an actress? It's the pressure to look gorgeous all the time and to behave perfectly. But I'm not perfect; nobody is.
When you go out with a drunk, you’ll notice how a drunk fills your glass so he can empty his own. As long as you’re drinking, drinking is okay. Two’s company. Drinking is fun. If there’s a bottle, even if your glass isn’t empty, a drunk, he’ll pour a little in your glass before he fills his own. This only looks like generosity.
Love yourself. Nobody's perfect. I mean, come on, nobody is perfect. Not you, not your mom, even the people on TV - nobody is perfect, and there's always something that nobody likes, but you know, you just accept that. Your imperfections make you beautiful. It's those things you find you don't like that someone else finds very special and very unique about you.
There’s a side to me that likes to make clothes for everyday. But I also think of fashion as an escape. It’s like a dream. It shouldn’t always be practical and about real life. Sometimes you have to do a piece that has a bit more of a wow - almost like, "I don’t know who’s going to wear that. It’s almost too much." That’s a lot of what fashion is about. Even in an economy that isn’t strong and where it’s important to sell clothes, you have to make things that let people dream a little, you know?
I think people will lie to pollsters. I think the truth of Obama and what people think of Obama is when you ask people about his agenda and then nobody likes anything. They don't like Obamacare. They don't like the Iran policy. They don't like taxes. They don't like anything he's done. But you put him in the question and people get scared to say anything negative because of the racial component.
I've been training fighters about 10 years. And I know I get the kids that nobody else is gonna want. I get kids who violated probation five, six, seven times. Their parents don't want 'em, the police don't want 'em - nobody wants 'em. And so I say, okay, I was like that. Nobody wanted me. Once I found out that a nobody could do what I did, I took a whole bunch of nobodies. When you take a nobody, they're open to anything, so that's what I started working with. I started working with the worst kids that nobody else wants to deal with.
Twitter, I always say is the drunk uncle of my personality, because I say some stuff sometimes that, you know that drunk uncle at the Thanksgiving table, he starts rambling on about, that he shouldn't have said so sometimes I do that.
Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice.
I don't know anything about chemistry, but I know that there's a whole world of chemistry, of professional chemists. They have their prizes, they have their publications, they have their work. Just because I don't know about it, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. A lot of people say, "Isn't poetry in trouble today?" Or: "Nobody really reads poetry anymore." And I say, "You're crazy." There's a huge world of poetry out there. You may not know about it, but it's there.
This country is rich with awful things to say about everybody. There's a slur for you and a slur for me - more than one. And because we're terrified of dealing with them head on, we've made them just as easy to warp and defang.
When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say "Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie." You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say "Oh, they hated your film." You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
Everybody gets too drunk sometimes; and even if everybody didn't, I have gotten too drunk sometimes. I haven't hurt anybody. In Ireland we drink a lot. It's part of our culture. I like drinking. I don't think it's a bad thing.
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