A Quote by Andrew Garfield
Since I was , I've had that feeling of, 'Am I enough? Am I worthy? Am I supposed to be here?' And my culture and society is telling me that I'm actually not in a lot of ways - unless I have this amount of money, or I'm in this kind of car and I have this kind of job, or I'm famous, or whatever.
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I am no fun at all. In fact, I am anti-fun. Not as in anti-violence, but as in anti-matter. I am not so much against fun - although I suppose I kind of am - as I am the opposite of fun. I suck the fun out of a room. Or perhaps I'm just a different kind of fun; the kind that leaves on bereft of hope; the kind of fun that ends in tears.
When I am with my family, then I can just sort of switch off. It's kind of weird, because I go back and I go into this bedroom that I have had since I was a teenager. It is like this parallel universe, because one minute I am on the red carpet and then the next I am hiding out in this room I have had since I was 15.
I need to see my own beauty and to continue to be reminded that I am enough, that I am worthy of love without effort, that I am beautiful, that the texture of my hair and that the shape of my curves, the size of my lips, the color of my skin, and the feelings that I have are all worthy and okay.
I didn't grow up with a lot of money, so my mom didn't have random money to buy me a car, and I didn't have money to have a car unless I worked, so I didn't get a car until I got my first job at 18.
Am I as spontaneously kind to God as I used to be, or am I only expecting God to be kind to me? Am I full of the little things that cheer His heart over me, or am I whimpering because things are going hardly with me? There is no joy in the soul that has forgotten what God prizes.
I have written it before and am not ashamed to write it again. Without Wodehouse I am not sure that I would be a tenth of what I am today -- whatever that may be. In my teenage years, his writings awoke me to the possibilities of language. His rhythms, tropes, tricks and mannerisms are deep within me. But more than that, he taught me something about good nature. It is enough to be benign, to be gentle, to be funny, to be kind.
I am not the kind of person who makes his bread and butter on how hyped I am. I am an actor, and I do my job.
I've come to a point where I am less nervous when I am supposed to start a film. I am still super nervous on the day but I've lost a lot of my fear about what kind of perception people have about my film.
I am so secure in who I am. I really am! And I'm not conceited. I just think, 'Wow, okay, that's the life you want to live.' It wasn't about who he chose. I mean, I had moments, 'Am I not sexy enough? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough?' But in so many of those questions, I immediately stopped and said, 'No, don't start doing that.' Because you can get stuck in that cycle and you can carry on to other things.
Today I am discovering who I am. Today I am becoming my person, worthy of developing all of me. Today I am beginning to know that I am okay the way I am.
I have a lot of friends in the Australian cricket team, and they have told me a lot about India. Brett Lee was telling me about the food and Bollywood. I am the kind of person who likes to embrace the culture of a place, and I really want to travel and see the various temples around the country.
I had intense anxiety, just with the acting and expectations. Am I good enough for this? This is so big. I'm on the cover of four magazines right now. Am I worthy of this? You question everything about yourself, and I did that. I put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure that I had the body and all of that.
I am always plagued with 'I'm not skinny enough, I'm not in shape.' I am not naturally this super-svelte kind of girl. I'm okay with that in my personal life. But it is kind of hard at times. I feel inadequate, I suppose?
I am such a fiery woman and I am a real passionate woman and I get so much stuff built up inside of me that I can release all that on stage, and I kind of counterbalance it with the normal Maria that I am because with the real calming, natural kind of earthy spirit stuff and it kind of balances me out so I don't go too crazy.
If one is the kind of creature I am and wants to do the kind of writing I want to do, an undisturbed bourgeois existence with no distractions seems in order. A single meeting outside the family upsets one's whole inner web, makes one start off on two-days' thinking and weighing, destroys a delicate balance etc. etc. ... I now have enough friends to last me a lifetime and that is enough. I am going to close the doors and hibernate at least for a couple of years. I am frightfully depressed about my work. It seems to me perfectly mediocre.
The whole idea is that the combination of tight activity and slack activity allows me to be both productive and creative at the same time. In the four years that I am actually working in a proper job, I am earning money and I'm also writing with a lot of discipline on the side.
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