A Quote by Andy Borowitz
Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.
Related Quotes
Mitt Romney said many years ago that he thought Russia was the single biggest geopolitical threat to the United States and their presence in a variety of conflicts of one type or another have borne out much of what Mitt Romney said.
Mitt Romney saying that Barack Obama gets an F is one of the most ridiculous things that he has said in this race.
How does [Mitt Romney] explain all of those terrible things he said, you know, that - to the Kellyanne [Conwey] point.
The Republican Party has moved so far to the right, you can't recognize Mitt Romney. What Mitt Romney will appear in October? Mitt Romney has changed positions more often than a pornographic movie queen.
I don't like Mitt Romney. I wouldn't vote for Mitt Romney in a million years. Mitt Romney is no ally of the gay community.
Mitt Romney is not going to run for president. Mitt said it's time for fresh faces. So that's good news for Bruce Jenner.
Mitt Romney has never been resigned to what someone else said was possible. He cut his own path. That's why he believes in his heart that America has a future full of opportunity and hope. And that's why when Mitt Romney looks down the road, he sees a country that's ready for a comeback.
I gave Mitt Romney some donations for his campaign because he was a friend, and friendship came first. I've always been a Democrat, and I've had different views than Mitt Romney. I'm not Mitt Romney, and I think people will realize that when they meet me out there.
Mitt Romney is a businessman, a turnaround artist, a CEO. That is who he is. The former governor has experience in the public and private sector.
One of the things about the modern world is that the public and the private - which is not the same as the public and the personal - but the public and the private... it's very, very much harder than it used to be to have things that are private and things that are public.
I was one of the hardest-hitting conservatives on George W. Bush. Republicans didn't like me on George W. Bush. Republicans still don't like me on many things. If any Republican thinks I've been hard on Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich or any of these guys, wait until Mitt Romney gets into office. I'll hold his feet to the fire just as much.
Just a few months ago in the Republican primary Mitt Romney said to his opponents, who he was crushing at the time, stop whining. And I think that's a good message for the Romney campaign. Instead of whining about what the Obama campaign is saying, why don't you just put the facts out there and let people decide rather than trying to hide them.
Senator Rand Paul reflected on Mitt Romney's potential 2016 campaign and said, 'It's sort of what Einstein said, that the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.' When someone told him Einstein didn't actually say that, he said, 'In the words of Gandhi, 'My bad.''
That's right, Mitt Romney took on Evander Holyfield in a boxing match for charity, and it was a pretty one-sided fight. But it was still not the worst boxing match we've seen this month. This weekend Vladimir Putin played in an exhibition hockey game with some former NHL players and scored eight goals. Even Evander Holyfield and Mitt Romney said, 'That looks fake.'
I don't think Romney is wacky at all, but religion makes intelligent people say and do wacky things, believe and affirm crazy things. Left on his own, Romney would never have said something like the Garden Of Eden was in Missouri, and will be again.
I was on NPR's All Things Considered yesterday. The question was, 'You're on the torture rack, they're going to kill you, who are you going to vote for? Mitt Romney, or Barack Obama? I said, 'Look, I've climbed Mount Everest. I know how to do what it takes. Take this to the bank: I would rather die.'
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