A Quote by Andy Rooney
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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If you look at the end of a roll of toilet paper, like the brown paper tube, I basically worked in a factory that made humongous ones like that - for concrete or anything you wanted to put in there. I was the guy who chopped those up into smaller pieces, put them in a box, throw it in a pallet, wrap it up, jump in a forklift and put it on a truck.
Like when I'm in the bathroom looking at my toilet paper, I'm like 'Wow! That's toilet paper?' I don't know if we appreciate how much we have.
You can't put toilet paper in the toilet [in the space ship], so there's a separate vacuum can in front of you on the wall and when you're done, you put the toilet paper in there and seal that up.
The wide screen reminds me of a roll of toilet paper.
House Republicans are flimsier than toilet paper, except toilet paper actually has use. They're so pathetic.
One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas?
You know you're lazy when you run out of toilet paper and use the cardboard roll to wipe with.
When I started as a color man in the booth with CBS, I would make footballs out of a roll of toilet paper.
Toilet paper - and no baby wipes - in the bathroom. If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean.
Future generations are going to look at the way we make toilet paper as one of the greatest excesses of our age. Making toilet paper from virgin wood is a lot worse than driving Hummers in terms of global warming pollution.
When you look at the sheer volume of paper usage in the U.S. alone, it's truly frightening: paper towels, toilet paper, napkins, writing paper. Our consumption of trees is endless.
If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.
I never saw the light of day at Bouley. I remember I would bring home a roll of toilet paper a week because we got paid so little, if at all.
Carter pulled out several lengths of brown twine, a small ebony cat statue, and a thick roll of paper. No, not paper. Papyrus. I remember Dad explaining how the Egyptians made it from a river plant because they never invented paper. The stuff was so thick and rough, it made me wonder if the poor Egyptians had had to use toilet papyrus. If so, no wonder they walked sideways.
Oh, I believe that there is no away; that no love, no life, goes ever from us; it goes as He went, that it may come again, deeper and closer and surer, and be with us always, even to the end of the world.
Life before toilet paper was not worth living.
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