A Quote by Andy Rooney

Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, "Could you throw this away for me?"

Andy Rooney

Quote Topics

Advertisements Away Back Banana Bills Check Coffee Could Distasteful Enough Garbage Get Get Back Junk Junk Mail Like Mail Me Noticed Now Put Stuff Them Throw Write Your

Quote Author

Andy Rooney
American - Journalist
January 14, 1919 - November 4, 2011

I want to be sitting in front of my computer, where you can press a button to block out your junk mail. These two are my junk mail.

Melina Marchetta

When I go on vacation, I leave my house in total order: bills paid, garbage out, no milk in the refrigerator, mail done so that I can better negotiate what will await me.

Judy Sheindlin

I have to take care of the house, and the dogs, and the Macondo Board meetings, all those e-mails, the letters that are going to fans. And you've got to pay bills. These things eat up your time. You have to prepare and pack to go on that trip. Then when you come back you have to file all that stuff, answer all that mail, and that's not even washing the clothes or any of that. So it takes as many days as I've been away to come back to normal and to get quiet.

Sandra Cisneros

AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, "The check's in the mail," people are going to say, "Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote."

Jay Leno

I wrote short stories for seven years and used to mail them out. You couldn't send them by e-mail. I called them manila boomerangs. I'd seal the self-addressed stamped envelope inside an envelope and I'd mail it off, and it would come back six weeks later with a rejection letter in it.

Jess Walter

I still go to a party and say something embarrassing to someone, and then write them a weird e-mail about it the next day, and then write them a text because I think they didn't get the e-mail. No matter what happens with your level of success, you still have to deal with all the baggage that is yourself.

Lena Dunham

Early in my career when we went to golf tournaments and charity dinners I noticed businessmen and executives would give the players their cards. Well, they're giving you their cards for a reason. I said to my wife, 'All the guys get these cards and then when they get to the parking lot they rip them up or throw them away. It's really weird.' My wife .. said maybe you should just sign a picture and mail it to them. You know, 'Great playing golf with you,' or whatever. So, I did and lo and behold some of those guys I sent pictures to way back then are now CEOs at big companies.

Tie Domi

Humans waste words. They toss them like banana peels and leave them to rot. Everyone knows the peels are the best part.

Katherine Applegate

It's tough for me to get rid of clothes. I grew up in a household with a limited budget and we really had to make our nice clothes last, and so now I'll get free pairs of shoes and this, that and the other and I'll be like, 'Oh great!'; even though it stresses me out that I don't have enough room to put them, I can't throw them away.

Will Ferrell

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

Steven Wright

Every once in a while, someone will mail me a single popcorn kernel that didn't pop. I'll get out a fresh kernel, tape it to a piece of paper and mail it back to them.

Orville Redenbacher

This is how I feel about horror films: there's enough scary things that happen in day-to-day life. Sometimes just going and getting the mail is scary, when you open your bills. And so, sometimes I feel like scary movies are just tapping into those anxieties and magnifying them.

Josh Hamilton

If I don't get at least one e-mail every ten minutes, I feel unloved. Even junk mail makes me feel seen. Sad, I know. Sigh.

Chris Abani

I actually missed some assignments at Kentucky because my teachers were like, 'Didn't you check your e-mail?' I was like, 'I don't really know how to use e-mail.'

Frank Vogel

Here are the bills again, I always dread them a little. They are familiar presences: first in the mail box, then in the bill drawer, now on the desk. Services Rendered. "My life is dependent on services rendered."